Handling the Anger: Why Is Mom So Defensive?

I often hear about elders becoming difficult and even abusive toward their adult children just at the time the elders need help. Mom and daughter always got along well, but suddenly Mom is telling her daughter she's too bossy and wants to run her life. Dad and his son had their bad moments, but their relationship as adults has been very good. Then when the adult son offers to help his dad with the yard work, Dad yells at him that he's "not an invalid!" Understandably, the son is hurt, frustrated and confused. He's jut trying to help. The same goes for the daughter who has offered to help her mother. What's behind this behavior in the elder?

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Comments

[Caring for Aging Parents]

Excellent advice. Unfortunately this is fairly common for adult children of aging parents. It's important to remember what our parents our experiencing and to have respectful dialogue. Thank you for sharing.