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Kids Want Dad to Hire Help for Mom

Dear Carol: My mother is in the middle stage of Alzheimer’s. Dad is her primary caregiver and it’s wearing him out. He can’t sleep because she doesn’t sleep. He’s worried about her wandering even though the house is secure. My siblings and I try to help, but we are all out of town and have jobs and families. Dad refuses to consider putting Mom in assisted living, yet he can’t continue life as he’s living it, either. We’re all worried sick that he’ll have a stroke or something while he’s trying to provide all of Mom’s care. How do we convince him to do things differently? – Tom

Dear Tom: Your parents vowed to care for each other until “death do us part.” Sometimes, people get so caught up in caregiving they feel that providing all of the spousal care personally is the only way to honor their vow. This is unfortunate, because in many of these situations, if the well spouse hires help to reduce the intense strain of constant caregiving, he or she can actually provide more relaxed, soothing emotional care for the loved one,

Read more about getting Dad to hire help for Mom:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook


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