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June 2013

Moving Parents: The Right Help Can Be Invaluable

...Understandably, people tend to groan when they think about the difficulty of these moves. First, of course, the elder must part with years - perhaps decades - of belongings. Many of our parents were great "savers." They grew up in the depression and they have a strong feeling that they may need, um, that cracked mixing bowl, one day. And why wouldn't they feel this way? Many lived close to the edge of starvation during the Dirty Thirties. These experiences colored their whole life.

Read more about emotional moving and the usefulness of senior moving services:

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When It's Time To Call Hospice

Accepting that our own or a loved one's life is limited to a few months, weeks or days is gut-wrenching. However, when we do get to the stage where we accept that nothing more can be done to extend their lives, or at least extend their lives without any quality of life, we are finally in a position to help.

Read more about not feeling guilty about asking hospice to ease loved one's end-of-life suffering:

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Summer Heat Can Be Deadly for Elders

Whether we are taking an elderly person to a family reunion or a backyard picnic this summer, we need to be aware that summer heat can become deadly as people age. From less efficient cooling systems to more illnesses and medications, elders have many issues that can make them vulnerable to extreme temperatures. Don’t let the heat stop you from taking your elder out for some fun...

Read more about elders and heat:

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Caregiving and Toxic Relationships

...Aging, and the problems that come with it, has only made this abuse more intense. No, your parents may not be able to hit you anymore, but that loss of physical control for them sometimes can make their tongues an even stronger weapon. Yet, it's natural for adult children to love their parents and even want to care for them as they age. If your parents abused you when you were a child, how do you care for them without harming yourself by being subjected to ongoing criticism and abuse?

Read more about learning to detach from aging, abusive parents:  

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Choosing Type of Senior Living

If Mom is still living in her original home, with no one to look in on her regularly, she may be at a turning point. Many people choose to start getting help from in-home care agencies, since Mom can stay in her home longer with this help. Others feel it's time for Mom to move to assisted living. There are several things for you and your mom to look at while you consider the options.

Read more about deciding how Mom is best cared for:

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Related articles


Convincing Aging Parent to Consider Assisted Living

I believe that part of the problem with convincing elders, and many younger people for that matter, is that people haven't been inside a modern assisted living center. Deep inside their gut, they harbor the outdated image of an "old folk's home." They consider a move from the family home one more step away from independence and one step closer toward death. They think a move to assisted living signifies to the world that they now have the proverbial "one foot on a banana peel and one foot in the grave." This image and mindset is stubborn.

Read more about convincing parent to consider assisted living:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook


Selling Dad’s House Difficult Topic

Dear Carol: My dad is 86. He has moderate dementia progressing to the later stages and lives in a memory unit of a good assisted living facility near me. Although Dad’s been here nearly a year, he still owns his home 250 miles away. The home sits empty, even though we have people mowing the lawn and shoveling snow.  Dad is healthy except for his dementia and could live for quite some time. I’d like to sell the home and furnishings, and he often agrees, but then says he can’t because it’s all too much to deal with. I can understand this and of course would handle the sale alone. I don’t think he’s emotionally able to even visit the home anymore.

Read more about helping Dad handle house sale:

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Handyman Can Help Elders Stay in Home

Many elders want to keep their homes. Many are not in undue danger of falling, unless they climb a ladder they shouldn't climb. They can shovel the sidewalk after a light snow shower, but not after a blizzard. And those pesky home tasks - a dead light fixture needs fixing, the squeaky dryer drum needs to be looked, some boards on the deck need replacing or one fence post needs fixing. It's these items that make many a homeowner want to throw in the towel.

Read more about helping elders to stay in their home longer: 

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How to Prepare Family for Grandparents Moving In

These days, having grandma move in with the family is still an option for some families, but it has become more complicated. First of all, there are fewer families with a stay-at-home adult in the home. This is where a great deal depends on Grandma's health. I know of one family where the dad is single. He has custody of his two young sons most of the time, and his mother has moved in. For the most part, Grandma is actually a help with the boys. Yes, she has her issues, and there has been some adjusting on all sides. But with Dad's odd hours and Grandma still fairly capable, it's a situation that works well for all.

Read more about preparing family for elders to move in:

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A Picnic for Your Elders: Use Your Imagination

...Picnics are symbolic of shared good times, casual but special. While generally held outdoors, they need not be. A quick look at the dictionary tells us that the word picnic means an informal good time. With that definition as a guide, we can come up with our own variations.

Read more about picnics of all varieties for our loved ones in facilities:

 

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