« May 2014 | Main | July 2014 »

June 2014

Should People in Their 80s Get Married?

Dear Carol: My mom has been in a nursing home for several years because of kidney problems and severe arthritis. She was widowed more than 15 years ago and has never dated since my dad’s death. Now, at age 81, she and a widower at the nursing home say that they want to get married! I don’t know what to do. I thought Mom was doing well with her thinking but now I wonder if she’s running into some judgment problems. Why would she do this at such an advanced age? Can the family stop her? -  Carolyn

Read more on Inforum about nursing home marriage:

Support a caregiver or jump start discussion in support groups with real stories - for bulk orders e-mail Carol: 


Refreshing Our Caregiving Routines is Healthy

Making pro and con lists of what is working and what is not working is an effective method of examining anything from budgets to weight loss. It can be just as effective for caregiving. Below I've provided a template for a hypothetical caregiver we'll call Ann. If you're up for a little self-reflection, Ann's list could help you jumpstart your own self-improvement project.

Read more on Agingcare about refreshing our caregiving routines:

Support a caregiver or jump start discussion in support groups with real stories - for bulk orders e-mail Carol: 


Satisfy Elder's Sweet Cravings with Healthy Smoothie

As people age, their appetites often lag. Medications, pain, problems with teeth or swallowing, and the inability to taste certain flavors are only a few of the many causes of eating problems in the elderly. Most elders will, however, eat sweets. Understandably, caregivers who are trying valiantly to provide good nutrition to their loved ones can become frustrated when the only foods their elders want are sugary and devoid of nutrients.

Read more on Agingcare about satisfying an elder's sweet tooth:

Support a caregiver or jump start discussion in support groups with real stories - for bulk orders e-mail Carol:


A4 Study: Testing Solanezumab before Alzheimer’s Symptoms Appear

Healthy older adults with no symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease are the focus of a large study involving 61 medical centers across the U.S., Canada and Australia. The Anti-Amyloid Treatment in Asymptomatic Alzheimer’s study aims to find out if Eli Lilly’s solanezumab, which failed in earlier studies to help people with Alzheimer’s symptoms, will help prevent Alzheimer’s if given long before symptoms appear.

Read more on HealthCentral about A4 study:

Support a caregiver or jump start discussion in support groups with real stories - for bulk orders e-mail Carol: 


Making Tough Decisions While Caregiving

Even when we have had the appropriate conversations with our loved one about his or her wishes under certain definable circumstances, life is rarely so neat that we are presented with clear choices. For this reason, caregivers often need to make tough decisions under sometimes murky conditions. My personal feeling is that respect for the dignity and legacy of the person we provide care for can be a comforting guide as we travel this road.

Read more on Agingcare about making tough decisions while caregiving:

Support a caregiver or jump start discussion in support groups with real stories - for bulk orders e-mail Carol:


Cameras in Nursing Homes: Yes or No?

How do you feel about placing a camera in your parent's or spouse's nursing home room? I myself have wondered under what conditions I would think this would be a good idea. There doesn't seem to be any one answer that fits everyone.

Read more on Agingcare about the pros and cons of cameras in a nursing home setting:

Support a caregiver or jump start discussion in support groups with real stories - for bulk orders e-mail Carol: 


How to Apologize After Blowing Up from Stress

...One day, however, you are extra stressed, tired and frustrated by the enormity of your caregiving duties. Your friend happens by at a bad time and offers just a bit of well-meaning advice. You snap. mmediately, you recognize that your nasty response is way out of proportion to your friend's comment.

Read more on Agingcare about making amends after a blowup:

Support a caregiver or jump start discussion in support groups with real stories - for bulk orders e-mail Carol:


When Aging Related Issues Make Driving Unsafe

Dear Carol: My husband is 83-years-old and has always been a good driver. Although I’m 10 years younger than he is I don’t like to drive, so throughout our 40 year marriage when we’ve gone anywhere together he’s driven. Now, I believe he needs to quit driving because his vision has begun to fade due to macular degeneration. Also, he’s in the early stages of dementia and can become confused. During the last year he’s had three small car accidents. He’s never been a stubborn person but when it comes to driving he refuses to let me take over. I’m afraid that he’ll get in a bad accident and hurt not only himself but other people. How do I convince him that he has to stop? - Milly

Read more on Inforum about elders and driving:

Support a caregiver or jump start discussion in support groups with real stories - for bulk orders e-mail Carol: 


Can Caregiving Change Your Personality?

...For people who instinctively want to take charge of every situation, caregiving can either turn them into frustrated tyrants, or mellow their personalities to a state where the best aspects remain, but what may be an overly-aggressive approach to life can be smoothed out.

Read more on Agingcare about personality changes as a caregiver:

Support a caregiver or jump start discussion in support groups with real stories - for bulk orders e-mail Carol:


Taking a Mental Break from Caregiving

...Thanks to the caregiver "fix it" mentality, you probably won't be able to totally avoid some concern about what is happening at home. But it may be possible that you can, with planning, take advantage of a break and come home refreshed.

While each caregiving situation is unique and the idea that you will be worry free during your trip or vacation is a bit optimistic, there are steps you can take to prepare for a good time. I've listed some practical suggestions that you can tailor to your family's needs:

Read more about unplugging from caregiving on Agingcare:

Support a caregiver or jump start discussion in support groups with real stories - for bulk orders e-mail Carol: