Dear Carol: Mom has had dementia for several years. I moved her to my house for about six months but she was extremely unhappy living there. I then moved her back to her home and hired help. That was worse. She wouldn’t get out of bed, she fought the caregivers and she wouldn’t eat. Finally, I gave up and moved her into the memory unit of a nearby assisted living center. Now, she’s up and around every day. She eats well and she is reasonably happy. The problem is that when I visit her she begs me to take her home. The staff has told me that she is doing well and this is just a normal reaction for someone with AD. They said, very kindly, that it may be better if I don’t visit quite so often. I feel guilty if I don’t visit daily but I can see their point. I read your column every week and you advocate visiting our parents often. Is it bad if I cut back and visit just once or twice a week? PR
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