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Cruel Remarks Follow Plan to Move Husband Into a Nursing Home

Comfort14Dear Carol: My dad had a massive stroke five years ago when he was 78, and Mom, who’s the same age, is caring for him at home. Mom's finally realizing that she can’t keep this up because her health is declining. I live 500 miles away so I can only help so much. Mom’s tried hiring in-home care but that hasn’t worked out consistently so Dad’s on a list for a nearby nursing home. Having to make this move is heartbreaking for Mom but she knows that it needs to be done. The problem is Dad’s sister, who is also Mom’s friend. She’s been laying guilt on Mom saying that Mom’s not honoring her marriage vows if she moves Dad. This woman has been a widow for 30 years and her husband died suddenly of a heart attack. She has no idea about what Mom’s been through. Mom’s moving ahead with the plan, but my aunt’s bitter words are painful for her. Mom reads your column. Could you give us both some support? TM

Read full article on Inforum about the cruelty of being judged for placing a loved one in a nursing home:

Support a caregiver or jump start discussion in support groups with real stories - for bulk orders of Minding Our Elders e-mail Carol

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