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Well-Meaning but Hasty Comments Just add to Caregiver’s Heavy Load

CaregoverCredotniklas-hamann-418782-unsplashDear Carol:  I am caring for both of my parents who are over 90. Mom has Alzheimer’s. Dad tries to help but he's limited in what he can do. Frankly, some days I feel limited as well. I’m so exhausted all the time that I can’t even enjoy my grandchildren. I know that I need more outside help, and maybe even need to change our living arrangements, so I’m looking into that. What spurred me to write to you, though, was that people who were caregivers, but whose parents are long deceased, will say to me, “At least you still have your parents." This happens even if I just sigh or say that I'm tired. What's with these people? I believe that they are now glamorizing what they did. I’m sure they miss their parents, but I think it's the parents they had before illness took over who they miss. Their comments make me feel hurt and guilty. Do they know what they are doing? OP

Read full  the column on Inforum about how to handle thoughtless comments by past caregivers who've forgotten what it's like:

Photo credit Niklas Hamann: Unsplash

Support a caregiver or jump-start discussion in support groups with real stories - for bulk orders of Minding Our Elders e-mail Carol  

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