Empathy for Caregivers Feed

Antibiotics and the Elderly: When Do We Say No?

ComfortThis post is about another study, my friends, but this one is more personal for me. A report in the February 25 issue of Archives of Internal Medicine titled "Study examines antibiotic use among nursing home patients with advanced dementia," reminds me of a situation with my mother-in-law. Alice was in a very good nursing home and flourishing. Before she was admitted, her life in her condominium - no matter how much attention and care we gave her - had become unsustainable. She was afraid and paranoid. She couldn't look out the windows because she imagined bad things, so she kept her shades drawn all day. She was even afraid to retrieve her newspaper from the hallway. She wouldn't go out.

Read more about when it's time to let go and let nature take over:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

“I hold onto your book as a life preserver and am reading it slowly on purpose...I don't want it to end.”  Craig William Dayton, Film Composer

Global Alzheimer’s Study Now Enrolling


Summer Outings for Seniors and their Families

GrandfatherboyMany aging adults spend the bulk of their time just managing to get through the day. They take care of life's basics but often don't leave their home, assisted living center or nursing home, except for doctor appointments and an occasional holiday. Families and friends might like to take a senior out for some fun but they don't know how to go about it. Even seasoned caregivers can be stumped for ideas, so here are a few to get started:

Read about 10 summer outings on Agingcare:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

“I hold onto your book as a life preserver and am reading it slowly on purpose...I don't want it to end.”  Craig William Dayton, Film Composer

Global Alzheimer’s Study Now Enrolling


Sibling Relationships: Resolving Issues While Caring for Parents

PensiveIssues between brothers and sisters often seem to come to a head when a parent suddenly needs care. While siblings who have always had a healthy relationship generally find ways to work through their disagreements, many who never truly got along can find themselves frustrated, hurt and even completely estranged from one another in the end. In either scenario, objective, professional advice can be helpful for those families who are working towards conflict resolution at a time when everyone should be cooperating.

Read full article on Agingcare about sibling issues and caregiving: 

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

“I hold onto your book as a life preserver and am reading it slowly on purpose...I don't want it to end.”  Craig William Dayton, Film Composer

Global Alzheimer’s Study Now Enrolling


Driving and Memory Loss: Tips to Help Elders Give Up Driving

CarkeysFor much of our society, the ability to get into a car and drive to a desired destination is a sign of independence. Therefore, convincing a person that he or she should no longer drive is frequently an emotional battle. Often, the longer adult children or other involved people wait to discuss driving issues with a loved one who has cognitive issues the harder it can be since advancing dementia generally involves a declining ability to make balanced decisions.

Read more on HealthCentral about driving and how to help someone give up the right to do so:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

“I hold onto your book as a life preserver and am reading it slowly on purpose...I don't want it to end.”  Craig William Dayton, Film Composer

Global Alzheimer’s Study Now Enrolling


Guilt Intrinsic to Caregiving: Most Is Unearned

CaregiverStressIf ever there’s a group of people who suffer deeply from unearned guilt it’s caregivers. Whether you’re the parent of a vulnerable adult, an adult child of aging parents or the spouse of a vulnerable adult, you are bound to have your “if only” times where you are sucked into the quicksand of guilt. The reality is that most things you could have done differently wouldn’t have made a huge difference overall. Even if another approach would have made a difference, you can’t go back. Staying mired in guilt is counterproductive for you as well as your care receiver. 

Read more on HealthCentral about unearned guilt for caregivers and how to cope with it:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

“I hold onto your book as a life preserver and am reading it slowly on purpose...I don't want it to end.”  Craig William Dayton, Film Composer

Global Alzheimer’s Study Now Enrolling


Veteran Caregiver for Multiple Elders Tells It Like It Is

Minding Our EldersIt’s been nearly a decade since I began sharing my personal caregiving stories with the public, first via the book “Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories” and later through a newspaper column, on my own blog and then contributing to major websites such as Healthcentral.com/alzheimers. When I first started sharing my stories and looking for others who had similar tales to tell, people tended to be reticent about speaking up. Now, sharing caregiver “in the trenches” stories has become a major part of caregiver self-care and even survival.

Read more on HealthCentral about lessons learned as a caregiver:

Support a caregiver or jump start discussion in support groups with real stories - for bulk orders of Minding Our Elders e-mail Carol

Global Alzheimer’s Study Now Enrolling 


5 Tips to Ease Discussions with Elders about Housing

FatherDaugher6As you watch your parents or other beloved elders age, you worry. Should they have housing upgrades? Can they continue to live independently? Your intention isn’t to take over their lives but you genuinely want to start the conversation about possible future changes. How do you do this without causing a backlash?

View slide show on HealthCentral about tips for discussing housing arrangements with elders:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

“I hold onto your book as a life preserver and am reading it slowly on purpose...I don't want it to end.”  Craig William Dayton, Film Composer

Global Alzheimer’s Study Now Enrolling


Celebrating Father’s Day When Your Dad Has Dementia

FAtherSonFather's Day and my birthday always fall close together. Some years they are the same day. That always made Father's Day an extra special time in our house as I was growing up.   I was, of course, an adult and mother by the time Dad had the surgery that threw him into dementia for the following decade. However, my adulthood didn't shield me from the pain of missing "my real dad" when I'd bring Mom up to the nursing home and we brought cards and flowers.

Read more on HealthCentral about celebrating Father's day when your dad has dementia:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

“I hold onto your book as a life preserver and am reading it slowly on purpose...I don't want it to end.”  Craig William Dayton, Film Composer

Global Alzheimer’s Study Now Enrolling

 


"Minding Our Elders" Featured on Alzheimer's Authors Blog for Brain Health Awareness month in June

MindingOurElderswebsite50%The Alzheimer’s Authors blog has presented me with the honor of featuring “Minding Our Elders” as one of their books for June as Brain Health Awareness Month. Take a few minutes to look over this terrific blog and then sign up to follow as they continue to feature wonderful books written by people who understand what caring for a person with dementia of any kind means.

The blog again? Alzheimer’s Authors

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

“I hold onto your book as a life preserver and am reading it slowly on purpose...I don't want it to end.”  Craig William Dayton, Film Composer


Give Your Dad the Best Father’s Day Gift Ever: Your Attention

CaregiverWheelchairAre you tired of listening to your elders repeat stories? Do you just chalk the repetition up to memory issues? If so, there are a lot of people who can relate. But here's something to think about. There may be a reason aside from memory issues that can explain the repetitive stories. As years go by, most of us gain – or attempt to gain – perspective. By retelling personal stories, elders are often, consciously or subconsciously, trying to re-frame their life from the perspective of time.

Read more on Agingcare about how your attention can be the best Father's Day ever:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

“I hold onto your book as a life preserver and am reading it slowly on purpose...I don't want it to end.”  Craig William Dayton, Film Composer

Global Alzheimer’s Study Now Enrolling