Humor Feed

Family Caregiver Needs Recognition from Siblings

Comfort12Dear Carol: I have been taking care of my aging parents’ needs for several years. Since I live near them, and caregiving suits my personality, I’m happy to do it. My parent care has gone from just running a few errands and accompanying them to the doctor to going to their home daily and doing their laundry, most of their cooking, and setting up medications. I realize that my siblings, because they live out of town, can’t do much for our parents. All that I ask for is a pat on the back now and then for what I do, but it’s like they live in another world. They are glad that our parents are taken care of, but they offer no support or even a thank you. I’m not asking for help, but I’m becoming resentful which I don’t like. Am I selfish to want some recognition? Susie

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Read full article on Inforum about caregiver's need for some appreciation from siblings:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

The stories in this fine book showed us how others have gone through similar things with their families and that is somehow reassuring. There are some helpful suggestions but mostly there is the recognition that others went through the same thing. All we can do is our best. That is greatly reassuring during these difficult emotional times. If you are a caregiver, this is a must read. - Delores Edwards


How to Be a Friend to an Isolated Caregiver

Friends8Caregivers are often isolated by the nature of their responsibilities. Some can’t leave home without arranging for someone to come and care for their loved one. Others are simply taxed to expend energy on friends no matter how lonely they may feel. So, how can you be a friend to an isolated caregiver?

View full slideshow on HealthCentral about how to be a friend to a caregiver who is struggling:

Support a caregiver or jump start discussion in support groups with real stories - for bulk orders of Minding Our Elders e-mail Carol


How We Can Balance Elder Care With Other Relationships

Balance4 (2)As caregivers, the first thing to go is the time, or even the energy and desire, to maintain friendships. Even maintaining friendships that go back years can seem like just one more thing to do when a caregiver is so swamped with demands. So, caregivers stop seeing friends, hence friends stop asking them to do anything fun. Friends get tired of being turned down. And caregivers forget that life was once fun. They are too busy giving care to everyone else to even notice the loss.

Read full article on Agingcare about balancing caregiving with other relationships:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

“I hold onto your book as a life preserver and am reading it slowly on purpose...I don't want it to end.”  Craig William Dayton, Film Composer


Learning to Back Off and Accept Risks While Caregiving

BicycleRisk...I am aware that many people under age 65 need assistance from their adult children or other sources because of health problems. That being said, having arthritis or heart issues, for example, doesn’t make a person cognitively impaired. Therefore, when we offer to help in these situations, the elders’ opinions and wishes must be taken into consideration. I know only too well that watching our parents get older is difficult. Ideally, they were once our anchors. No matter how difficult life became, there was comfort in knowing that our parents were around, even if they were half way across the country. Now, when we see their joints needing replacement, their skin wrinkling, perhaps even their memory recall slowing, we cringe. Whether or not we wish to admit it, we are afraid. We know that our parents are not immortal. One day we will be without them.

Read full article on Agingcare about why we need to step back and not interfere with our elders' happiness:

Support a caregiver or jump start discussion in support groups with real stories - for bulk orders of Minding Our Elders e-mail Carol


How Humor Helps Provide Armor for Caregivers to Survive

FriendsOne of the positive parts of being a family caregiver is the opportunity for emotional growth. We can develop increased compassion, patience, and tolerance, as well as humor. Yes, we often shed tears over our loved one’s illness and often over our feelings of powerlessness.  But humor may be the saving grace that keeps us from drowning in sorrow. Some situations, of course, leave no room for laughter. But some tough times can offer moments of levity if we choose to recognize them. My sister, Beth, and I experienced what to some people may be a rather macabre situation during the three days our mother was going through the death process. If we hadn’t maintained our senses of humor, I’m not sure how we would have handled those sad, seemingly endless days.

Read full article on HealthCentral about how humor helps caregivers survive:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

The stories in this fine book showed us how others have gone through similar things with their families and that is somehow reassuring. There are some helpful suggestions but mostly there is the recognition that others went through the same thing. All we can do is our best. That is greatly reassuring during these difficult emotional times. If you are a caregiver, this is a must read. - Delores Edwards


The Challenge of Going Public with an Alzheimer’s Diagnosis

DepressedElderSadly, even after years of work to educate the public about any illness that affects the brain, a stigma remains. No matter that most, if not all, mental illnesses have a biological basis. No matter that people aren’t any more responsible for a brain illness than they are for other illnesses. The fact remains that whether the disease affects the brain occurs at a younger age in the form of depression or bi-polar disease or an older age in the form of Alzheimer’s disease or another dementia, people with brain illnesses are often reluctant to acknowledge their illness for fear of being treated differently than others. There has been some progress when it comes to enlightening the public, but not nearly enough.

Read full article on HealthCentral about going public about dementia:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

An amazing book of stories that will touch your heart and encourage you, especially if you are a caregiver. Carol  Bradley Bursack also has an excellent web site devoted to the elderly and their caregivers. - Carol Heilman


Caregivers Confess: Thoughts We Aren’t Proud Of

FriendsWouldn't it be nice to be a caregiver who had only loving thoughts every moment of the caregiving day? Maybe there are caregivers like that. If you are one of them, I truly congratulate you. Most of us who have been through years of caregiving will not fall into that category.  Here's a sampling of caregiver thoughts that I've heard people talk about. You'll likely feel better just reading them.

Read full article on Agingcare about  those little thoughts that we wish we didn't have:

Support a caregiver or jump start discussion in support groups with real stories - for bulk orders of Minding Our Elders e-mail Carol


6 Tips to Have More Fun While Caregiving

FatherSon8Many dementia caregivers feel as though they are treading water just to avoid sinking under the often exhausting pressures associated with dementia care. But consciously changing your attitude can, with practice, significantly change how your days, and those of your loved one, unfold. Here are some tips to get started.

View full slideshow on HealthCentral about getting the most out of caregiving:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

“I hold onto your book as a life preserver and am reading it slowly on purpose...I don't want it to end.”  Craig William Dayton, Film Composer


Using Walker to Prevent Falls Better Choice Than the Alternative

Olderwoman2Dear Carol: My mother has severe spine and knee problems and should be using a walker but she refuses. She’s only in her 60s and she says a walker makes her look old. She also complains that a walker keeps her from getting close enough to the cupboards and sink to cook, which is something that she loves. I admit that they are bulky and get in the way. They also keep her from carrying dishes around and I understand that. Still, she’s taking a terrible chance. When she’s having a lot of trouble she will use a cane, but that doesn’t do enough. Her mind is fine but, apparently, her ego just can’t take this blow. I know that she fights pain, but the worst seems to be her bitterness over her disability being seen by others as well as the inconvenience of using a walker. How do I convince her that safety is more important than some inconvenience or presenting a youthful look? CD

Read full column on Inforum about making the accepting limitations and a new walker design:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

“I hold onto your book as a life preserver and am reading it slowly on purpose...I don't want it to end.”  Craig William Dayton, Film Composer


Don't Let Ageism Skew Common Sense: Aging Bodies Often House Strong Minds

ElderlyManCaneToo much emphasis on the negative aspects of aging has encouraged society to believe that all older people are on the verge of dementia and a drain on families and the economy rather than a treasured resource of wisdom and experience. Yes, aging brains think differently. Recall slows and those frustrating times when a word escapes the aging brain become more frequent. Aging bodies may become more prone to disease, causing these little cognitive slips to arouse even more suspicion among family members. 

Read full article on HealthCentral about how judging elders by a few external frailties is a big mistake:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

“I hold onto your book as a life preserver and am reading it slowly on purpose...I don't want it to end.”  Craig William Dayton, Film Composer