Nursing Home Feed

Are Frequent Family Visits Disrupting for Elder in a Facility?

NursinghomeDear Carol: I’ve cared for my wife who has dementia for several years but now she’s begun wandering and needs constant supervision. Our kids think that both she and I are both better off if we place her in a nursing home, so we are on two waiting lists. One of the homes that we're considering has a rule that the family isn’t supposed to visit for the first two weeks after the person is admitted, and after that visits should be infrequent. They say that family visits disrupt the routine that they are trying to put into place for the elder and that seeing family members simply confuses them. The other home welcomes visits from the start, saying that while they hope that the family feels comfortable leaving their loved one in their care, they like to have families help with getting the person settled and as comfortable as possible. I hate the idea of leaving my wife in a new place and not being with her to help her settle in, but I want what is best for her. CF

Read full article on Inforum about visiting rules and what is best:

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What to Bring When Moving Into a Nursing Home: A Complete Checklist

MovingMost of us dread the thought of moving a loved one into a skilled nursing facility, and this sentiment doesn’t change for those who are fortunate enough to have a selection of stellar facilities to choose from. We know that we are giving up a certain amount of direct oversight, which can be hard even though we are well aware of our limitations as individual caregivers. We also know deep down that this move is an admission that a loved one has passed a certain point in their health where returning home or resuming even a few aspects of self-care is no longer a possibility. In other words, this transition is a direct dose of reality.

Read the full article on Agingcare for a complete checklist to help with moving to a nursing home:

Support a caregiver or jump start discussion in support groups with real stories - for bulk orders of Minding Our Elders e-mail Carol

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Aging in Place or Assisted Living: It’s About Choices

FarmAccording to an AARP survey, the vast majority of boomers have stated that they want to stay in their current homes rather than move to another setting for their later years. This attitude has been the springboard for many aging in place advocates as well as businesses like contractors and high tech companies. It’s not hard to understand why 60-year-olds would say that they want to remain in their home for life rather than move to assisted living or a nursing home. These are generally people who are relatively healthy and feel that they can hire help for whatever they need down the road.

Read more on HealthCentral about choosing between staying in the home or moving to a care facility:

Support a caregiver or jump start discussion in support groups with real stories - for bulk orders of Minding Our Elders e-mail Carol

Global Alzheimer’s Study Now Enrolling


Granddaughter’s Caregiving Neglects Self, Creates Dilemma

GrandfatherGrandaughterDear Carol: I grew up with my grandparents because my parents were killed in a car accident and they both loved me a lot. My grandmother died seven years ago when I was 23. I’d been on my own for a few years, but I moved back in with grandpa after he had a stroke. Things have gone fairly well with me working part time jobs and spending a lot of time with him. Lately, though, his memory has gotten very bad and he’s become stubborn about taking his medication, which he was always good about before. He’s also having more trouble getting around. I’ve finally started a good job with prospects for a future, but I can’t leave grandpa alone for long. My friends, as well as grandpa’s friends, tell me that he needs to go to a nursing home. They think it’s better for both of us but I feel like I should stay and take care of him like he took care of me. If I stay, I can’t take the full time job which I really want. I’m so confused. What do you think I should do? TK

Read full article about young caregiver on Inforum:

Support a caregiver or jump start discussion in support groups with real stories - for bulk orders of Minding Our Elders e-mail Carol

Global Alzheimer’s Study Now Enrolling


Convincing Your Ailing Parent to Move to Assisted Living

Comfort8Conventional wisdom says that we all want to stay in our own homes for as long as we can. That is likely how most of our elders feel; however it's not always in their best interest to do so. How do we talk with them about the realities and dangers of staying at home once their health is failing, and how do we convince them that a move to an assisted living center could be a very good – and positive option?

Read more on Agingcare about convincing an ailing parent that assisted living may be a good move:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

“I hold onto your book as a life preserver and am reading it slowly on purpose...I don't want it to end.”  Craig William Dayton, Film Composer

Global Alzheimer’s Study Now Enrolling


Providing Extra Enjoyment for Loved Ones Within Their Care Home Setting

Picnic3Dear Carol: My parents are both in the same nursing home. Dad is wheelchair bound from a major stroke and Mom has mid-stage dementia. I visit often, but I feel guilty for not taking them out more. I’ve had back surgery twice and cannot transfer my dad or lift his wheelchair. I do accompany them to medical appointments in the paratransit bus that takes wheelchairs, but what I’m talking about is doing something fun. My parents don’t even seem to want to go out, and friends say “oh, don’t feel guilty, they are fine.” I know that they are fine, but I still feel like I’m failing them. I’d like some practical advice. ML

Read full article on Inforum about providing enjoyment for loved ones without taking them out:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

“I hold onto your book as a life preserver and am reading it slowly on purpose...I don't want it to end.”  Craig William Dayton, Film Composer

Global Alzheimer’s Study Now Enrolling


8 Lessons of Dementia Caregiving

Journal1Most of us find, as we travel our unique journeys, that certain phrases or concepts take on the status of truth in our world view. Our personal truths may not be identical to those of others, but we know what is true for us. Below, I've shared, as food for thought, a few of my own truths that have developed during my personal caregiving journey.

Read full article on Agingcare about lessons learned in caregiving:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

“I hold onto your book as a life preserver and am reading it slowly on purpose...I don't want it to end.”  Craig William Dayton, Film Composer

Global Alzheimer’s Study Now Enrolling


Families Need to Know About Elders’ Prescription Changes

Medical_drugs_tablets_222894Dear Carol: My dad has been in a nursing home for several years and, for the most part, we’re happy with the care. A problem occurred lately, though, where I’d like your thoughts. Dad has been on a medication for mental illness for years. We’re aware that this medication has side effects but we also know how miserable he is without it. Anyway, the dosage of this medication was lowered and we weren’t told. I found out about the change because of Dad’s behavior. I asked the floor nurse and she told me that an order had come through to lower the dosage. I then checked with the doctor who said he hadn’t lowered the dosage but that there was an order on Dad’s records for the change. In the end, we got the medication reinstated at the proper dose and Dad is improving. The staff knows that I have the medical Power Of Attorney for Dad's health.  Am I wrong about thinking that I should have been told? KB

Read more on Inforum about how medications can affect elderly and why family needs to be kept in the loop:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

“I hold onto your book as a life preserver and am reading it slowly on purpose...I don't want it to end.”  Craig William Dayton, Film Composer

Global Alzheimer’s Study Now Enrolling


Dad Crushed When Mom Finds New Love in Care Home

DementiaManDear Carol: My mother developed Alzheimer’s about six years ago.  Dad was her primary caregiver until his health began to deteriorate. At that time, the family talked Dad into placing Mom into a good, local memory unit where she’s lived for two years.  She no longer knows any of her children, or even her husband, but now she’s got a boyfriend in the nursing home. They hold hands and are together as much as possible. Dad knows that Mom’s behavior is caused by the disease, but when he visits Mom and sees them holding hands it breaks his heart. The man’s wife isn’t bothered by the relationship since her husband, who also has Alzheimer’s, is happy. She says to let it go because this relationship doesn’t mean anything. I agree with her, but watching Dad suffer is almost too much. How can we help him? CTB

Read more on Inforum about person with Alzheimer's finding new love:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

“I hold onto your book as a life preserver and am reading it slowly on purpose...I don't want it to end.”  Craig William Dayton, Film Composer


Individual Attention Important Benefit of Alzheimer’s Eating Study

FAtherSonIt’s natural for caregivers to worry if their loved one is getting sufficient nourishment. People with dementia are often a challenge because they forget to eat, or they may have problems remembering how to transfer food from the plate to their mouths. Some people have trouble chewing and swallowing, especially during later stages of dementia.

Read more on HealthCentral about a study that shows how much difference individual attention can make in eating: 

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

“I hold onto your book as a life preserver and am reading it slowly on purpose...I don't want it to end.”  Craig William Dayton, Film Composer

Global Alzheimer’s Study Now Enrolling