Nursing Home Feed

Convincing Elders That It's Time for Assisted Living

Nursinghome3Conventional wisdom says that we all want to stay in our own homes for as long as we can. That is likely how most of our elders feel; however, it's not always in their best interest to do so. How do we talk with them about the realities and dangers of staying at home once their health is failing, and how do we convince them that a move to an assisted living center could be a very good – and positive option? I believe that part of the problem with convincing elders, and many younger people for that matter, is that people haven't been inside a modern assisted living center. Deep inside their gut, they harbor the outdated image of an "old folk's home." They consider a move from the family home one more step away from independence and one step closer toward death. They think a move to assisted living signifies to the world that they now have the proverbial "one foot on a banana peel and one foot in the grave."

Read more on Agingcare about how to help your elders understand when they need a safer environment:

A Virtual Conference to Help You Thrive As a Caregiver – Check this out!

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

“I hold onto your book as a life preserver and am reading it slowly on purpose...I don't want it to end.”  Craig William Dayton, Film Composer


Adult Child Doesn’t Need to Remain Target of Parent’s Misplaced Anger

StressedCaregiverDear Carol: My mother has always refused to take any medication even though she’s needed a prescription to control her blood pressure for years. Predictably, at 74, she had a massive stroke and now she will require around-the-clock care for the rest of her life. There is no sign of dementia. Mom’s in a nursing home and getting great care but she is extremely angry and she focuses that anger at me. I can’t provide the care that she needs at home, but I still feel guilty about placing her in a facility and she knows how to manipulate that guilt. I visit daily. I know that I’m doing all that I can, yet her anger gets to me and then I start resenting her. How do I change this? Donna

Read full column on Inforum about how to calm parent while caring for yourself:

A Virtual Conference to Help You Thrive As a Caregiver – Check this out!

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

Minding Our Elders lets you know that you are not alone, that you are not going to be perfect, but you can get the job done, You do the best you can, and that is good enough. We can't be Carol, but we can learn from her going before us. What a friend to have. What a gift she gave us. – CM Jones


5 Tips to Ease Discussions with Seniors about Housing Options

CaregiverOlderWomanAs you watch your parents or other beloved elders age, sometimes worry becomes inevitable. Should they have housing upgrades? Can they continue to live independently? Your intention isn’t to take over their lives, but you may genuinely want to start the conversation about possible future changes. How do you do this without causing a backlash?

Ongoing discussions keep it natural: If you and your parents have frequent, casual conversations about options as they age, you’ll have an easier time with the transition than if you leave the topic until there’s a crisis. When you begin the talks, generalize. Mention a wonderful new assisted living that your friend’s mother just moved into. Mention some exciting new upgrades to in-home bathrooms that are actually good for everyone’s safety.  Then, turn the conversation elsewhere.

View full slideshow on HealthCentral about seniors and housing options: 

caregiver smile summit


Aging-in-Place and Assisted Living: Pros and Cons of Each

RampOne of the diverse topics concerning aging is whether older people would prefer to update or remodel their current home — often referred to as aging in place — or look into assisted living. Many surveys, including one from AARP, indicate that most aging Americans would rather stay in their own homes.

In the following email interview, Romilla Batra, M.D., chief medical officer at SCAN Health Plan, a not-for-profit, senior-focused organization that offers one of the largest Medicare Advantage plans in California, updates us about current thinking when it comes to the pros and cons of each type of planning. Dr. Batra is a board-certified internist with more than 15 years of experience as a medical director, clinician, and educator.

Read full article on HealthCentral about the pros and cons of aging in place vs. assisted living:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

Minding Our Elders lets you know that you are not alone, that you are not going to be perfect, but you can get the job done, You do the best you can, and that is good enough. We can't be Carol, but we can learn from her going before us. What a friend to have. What a gift she gave us. – CM Jones


Celebrate July 4th: Planning a Picnic for an Elder in a Senior Living Community

Barbecue_grill_sausage_sausage_227499Would you prefer a hot dog or hamburger? Ketchup, mustard, relish? Chips, salad, dessert?  All were available during the annual barbecue picnic at the nursing home where my parents, my uncle and my mother-in-law lived at different times. While people also enjoyed the monthly birthday dinners and holiday festivities hosted by the nursing home, the summer barbecue was one of the most anticipated events of the year.

Read full article on Agingcare about arranging a picnic when your loved one lives in a care facility:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

“I hold onto your book as a life preserver and am reading it slowly on purpose...I don't want it to end.”  Craig William Dayton, Film Composer


Protection for Nursing Home Residents: Will New Rules Remain?

Nursinghome3New rules for the protection of nursing home residents have been implemented as part of the Affordable Care Act (ACA). Many of these rules provide answers to concerns that have troubled families with loved ones living in skilled nursing facilities (SNFs), generally called nursing homes. I emailed Medicare expert Ginalisa Monterroso for an update on these rules and what they mean for nursing home residents and their families.

Read full article on HealthCentral about rules to protect nursing home residents: 

Support a caregiver or jump start discussion in support groups with real stories - for bulk orders of Minding Our Elders e-mail Carol


Nursing Home Staff May Not Always Foresee an Approaching Death

Deathcomfort2Dear Carol: My 83-year-old father died recently. He had been in a good nursing home for three years, and there were no changes I his condition that I could see, yet he suddenly died. I keep second-guessing the nursing home staff for not warning me, which is probably unfair, but I can’t help but feel that they should have had some clue to Dad’s impending death. I’m not saying that they were neglectful in any way, and certainly they weren’t responsible for his death. I’m just wondering why they didn’t pick up on what was happening so that we would have had some warning. Shouldn’t they have been able to let us know that he may only have a week or a month to live? Should I ask them for an explanation? – Pat

Read the full column on Inforum about how to cope with the shock of sudden loss under these conditions:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

“I hold onto your book as a life preserver and am reading it slowly on purpose...I don't want it to end.”  Craig William Dayton, Film Composer

Ebook on sale this week for $2.99 in honor of "the longest day" and Alzheimer's Authors


5 Tips to Ease Discussions with Elders about Housing

Motherdaughter3As you watch your parents or other beloved elders age, sometimes worry becomes inevitable. Should they have housing upgrades? Can they continue to live independently? Your intention isn’t to take over their lives, but you may genuinely want to start the conversation about possible future changes. How do you do this without causing a backlash?

View full slideshow about how to talk to your loved ones about housing:

Support a caregiver or jump start discussion in support groups with real stories - for bulk orders of Minding Our Elders e-mail Carol

Ebook on sale this week for $2.99 in honor of "the longest day" and Alzheimer's Authors


Often Surgery Seems the Only Choice, Yet Results Can Devastate

DeathDear Carol: My world changed in an instant when, at age 45, my mom suffered a brain aneurysm. Because of that, she had to undergo brain surgery which left her with dementia and severe physical limitations. I quit my job and took Mom home and cared for her for three years. Fortunately, my husband has been supportive and we could afford it. Eventually, Mom’s care needs were overwhelming me and I had to move her to a nursing home. I haven’t been able to drop the guilt that I feel over doing this even though I spend time with her daily.  Mom barely speaks and she’s in and out of reality. Mostly, she sleeps. The doctor calls this the natural progression of the disease. They gave me such hope with the surgery, but afterward, they just brushed off her dementia with the attitude of “it happens.” That attitude still makes me angry. Could I have done something different? – Trish: 

Read full column on Inforum about how even necessary surgery can have devastating results:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

The stories in this fine book showed us how others have gone through similar things with their families and that is somehow reassuring. There are some helpful suggestions but mostly there is the recognition that others went through the same thing. All we can do is our best. That is greatly reassuring during these difficult emotional times. If you are a caregiver, this is a must read. - Delores Edwards


7 Tips for Preserving an Elder's Vital Sense of Dignity

BicycleRiskFearing that their aging parents could be injured, caregivers can become nagging nannies who try to stop Dad from working in his beloved shop or Mom from gardening. But insisting that elders avoid all risks can compromise their dignity and joy. So how do you find the right balance of concern and trust?

View slideshow on HealthCentral about taking steps to preserve the sense of dignity all ages deserve:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

An amazing book of stories that will touch your heart and encourage you, especially if you are a caregiver. Carol  Bradley Bursack also has an excellent website devoted to the elderly and their caregivers. - Carol Heilman