Resolving Sibling Relationship Issues While Caring for Parents

SiblingSurrenderIssues between brothers and sisters often seem to come to a head when a parent begins requiring care. While siblings who have always had a healthy relationship generally find ways to work through their disagreements, many who never truly got along can find themselves frustrated, hurt and even completely estranged from one another in the end. In either scenario, objective, professional advice can be helpful for those families who are experiencing conflict at a time when everyone should be cooperating.

Read full article on Agingcare about how sibling issues can hamper parent care:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

The stories in this fine book showed us how others have gone through similar things with their families and that is somehow reassuring. There are some helpful suggestions but mostly there is the recognition that others went through the same thing. All we can do is our best. That is greatly reassuring during these difficult emotional times. If you are a caregiver, this is a must read. - Delores Edwards


Touchy Sibling Communication About Alzheimer’s May Benefit from Professional Input

WetdryDear Carol: My mom is in the middle stage of Alzheimer’s so she needs gentle reminders to accomplish things, as well as compassion when her view of reality is off track. I’ve learned a lot from the Alzheimer’s Association, as well as from reading your work and that of others, about how we should interact with people like Mom. She lives in a nursing home and the staff is excellent with her, so I learn from them, too. When my siblings visit, they boss mom around and contradict her all the time, yet they won’t listen to me when I try to explain how to interact with her. It’s depressing for me to watch them do this, and distressing enough for Mom that she deteriorates when they are here. They do love her and say that they’ll try to do better, but as soon as they come back it starts all over. How do I get through to them that they are hurting her? RT

Read full column on Inforum about communicating with siblings when they don't understand:

Support a caregiver or jump-start discussion in support groups with real stories - for bulk orders of Minding Our Elders e-mail Carol   Terrific Christmas gift!


A Day to Honor All Veterans Past and Present

VeteransDayMichelleMalkinCreditOn this day I think of all veterans who've served our country, but of course I feel the closest to my loved ones: My dad (U.S. Army); my two uncles (one in the U.S. Army Air Corps which became the U.S. Air Force, one in the U.S. Army - he survived being a WWII POW); my brother (U.S. Army); my nephew (U.S. Army); and my partner and love (U.S. Navy). While these veterans' political views cover a wide spectrum, they are all patriots who served with honor and pride. Thank you to all veterans, and extra love to my personal heroes on this day - your day. 

Photo credit: Michelle Malkin

 


Questions to Ask an In-Home Care Agency

InhomeCaregiverChoosing an individual or a company to come into our home, or that of a vulnerable loved one, to provide assistance with anything from cleaning to personal services is never easy. We are giving an unknown person access to not only our property but to the safety of our loved one who may need care while we are not able to supervise. Choosing the right person or company should be done methodically, and education can help you ask the right questions.

View full slideshow on HealthCentral about tips on choosing an in-home care agency:

“I hold onto your book as a life preserver and am reading it slowly on purpose...I don't want it to end.”  Craig William Dayton, Film Composer

Support a caregiver or jump-start discussion in support groups with real stories - for bulk orders of Minding Our Elders e-mail Carol   Terrific Christmas gift!


Lewy Body Dementia: Caregivers Share Their Personal Experiences

FatherDaughter9...As with most types of dementia, family members are the primary caregivers by default, at least at the beginning of the disease. They are usually the people who notice that something is not right with their spouse or parent. Again, like Alzheimer’s and most other types of dementia, care needs escalate with time. This ongoing care can be physically arduous and emotionally demanding.

Jeanne Gibbs, whose husband had LBD, illustrates her husband’s state of mind with the scenario below, which she handled like a pro:

Sometimes (but certainly not always!) the cause confusion in dementia can be determined and dealt with.

I worked at home to support us. One day my husband, Coy, was waiting for a rain-delayed baseball playoff game, and he came into my office. Coy: Do we have umbrellas for both of us? Me: Umm… for what purpose?

Read full article on HealthCentral about caregivers and their partners who live with LBD:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

Minding Our Elders lets you know that you are not alone, that you are not going to be perfect, but you can get the job done, You do the best you can, and that is good enough. We can't be Carol, but we can learn from her going before us. What a friend to have. What a gift she gave us. – CM Jones


Tips to Reduce Loneliness in Elders around the Holidays

Christmas17It's human to feel that holidays should be happy times, with generations of traditions coming to the forefront. After all, we say we celebrate holidays. Doesn't that mean happiness? The reality, however, is that many people can feel isolated and lonely during this sometimes forced "season of goodwill."  
Elders can have an especially hard time with the holiday season. While aging and maturity can bring the wisdom of years for many people, there are inevitable losses that come to even the most healthy individuals. Many of these losses are emotional and social in nature. Spouses become ill or die. Other aging relatives and friends become seriously ill or die. Neighborhoods change, often leaving even those well enough to remain in their own homes feeling friendless and isolated. The holidays can bring this isolation and a feeling of loneliness to a head.

Read the full article on Agingcare about what you can do to reduce loneliness in elders during the holidays:

Support a caregiver or jump-start discussion in support groups with real stories - for bulk orders of Minding Our Elders e-mail Carol   Terrific Christmas gift!


Age Doesn't Have to Destroy Your Memory: Tips from a Memory Expert

Exercise13Myths about brain health are as rampant as they are for any feared disease. Neuropsychologist Dr. Michelle Braun is a memory expert who actively fights against these myths. In the process, she helps people learn how to reduce their risk for developing Alzheimer’s disease. Dr. Braun has worked for 10 years as a clinical neuropsychologist in departments of neurology, neurosurgery, and psychiatry in hospitals and academia. In 2008, she received the Practitioner of the Year Award from the Alzheimer’s Association in southeastern Wisconsin.

Read full article on HealthCentral about how people can take steps to protect their memory:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

The stories in this fine book showed us how others have gone through similar things with their families and that is somehow reassuring. There are some helpful suggestions but mostly there is the recognition that others went through the same thing. All we can do is our best. That is greatly reassuring during these difficult emotional times. If you are a caregiver, this is a must read. - Delores Edwards


Capgras Syndrome: Coping with a Loved One's Delusions

Grief1Capgras is a type of delusional misidentification syndrome (DMS) that may present due to any number of neurological diseases or psychiatric disorders. Although the exact prevalence of this disorder is unknown, a 1999 study estimates that it is present in between two and 30 percent of individuals with Alzheimer’s disease. This disorder can seriously complicate a dementia patient’s quality of life and their caregivers’ efforts, so it is crucial to spread awareness of this little-known condition.

Read more on Agingcare about how delusions can be a part of Alzheimer's:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

The stories in this fine book showed us how others have gone through similar things with their families and that is somehow reassuring. There are some helpful suggestions but mostly there is the recognition that others went through the same thing. All we can do is our best. That is greatly reassuring during these difficult emotional times. If you are a caregiver, this is a must read. - Delores Edwards


9 Tips to Manage Stress to Maintain Better Health

MindsetIncreasingly, stress is considered a risk factor for dementia, particularly Alzheimer’s. Stress is also a risk factor for stroke and heart attack as well as a trigger for many diseases from arthritis to psoriasis. Obviously, limiting stress in our lives is a good idea. But how? Simply living what we call modern life seems to make stress the norm. 

Zap perfectionism: Get rid of perfectionism. I know that I can be more stressed than I need to be simply because I think I have to do everything right now and do it perfectly. Likely you are similar. Perfectionism can lead us in an even more stressful cycle as we fail to meet own standards.

View full slideshow on HealthCentral for tips on stress management:

Support a caregiver or jump start discussion in support groups with real stories - for bulk orders of Minding Our Elders e-mail Carol


Hoarding Parents Can Leave Adult Children with Formidable Task

Moving1Dear Carol: My mother has Parkinson’s disease but still lived alone in the family home until she took a bad fall. Now, she needs around the clock care so we’ve moved her to a nearby nursing home. The care is good, so that part is fine, but her home must be sold which means that I, the only adult child nearby, must clean it out. This is a large home with four bedrooms, all of which have somehow filled up with “stuff.” The basement is packed. The decisions about where to start are overwhelming. Sometimes I just want to dump everything, but this is the home where my parents lived and where my brother and I grew up and there are things of value buried beneath the junk. I know that I need to hire help but I also know that I must make many of the decisions myself. Where do I start? – DG

Read full article on Inforum about tackling the "cleaning out the house" project:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

An amazing book of stories that will touch your heart and encourage you, especially if you are a caregiver. Carol  Bradley Bursack also has an excellent website devoted to the elderly and their caregivers. - Carol Heilman