Reflections Feed

A friend recently faced the task of letting her mother, who has mid-level dementia, know that the mother’s elderly brother had died. This death was not unexpected, but when a person has dementia and short-term memory loss is a problem, the news would likely be unexpected by the mother. Read more →


Often, it’s ourselves we need to forgive, especially for thinking we should be perfect when we’re not. However, even if our care receiver or a friend is basically at fault, we are still the biggest beneficiary of our forgiveness. Doing so frees us from building up resentment about others, which is basically self-punishment because we obsess over the negative instead of moving forward with a positive attitude. Read more →


All of these people are caregivers. Whether or not they are caregivers in the legal sense that they can file for benefits or qualify for respite care isn't what we're considering in this article. We're looking at the emotional investment of caregiving as well as time and physical presence. Additionally, there's no way to overstate the role of the advocate in a vulnerable person's life. This role may be one of the most important ones we play no matter how much or little we are physically present to provide hands-on care. Read more →


When dementia symptoms appear it’s natural to fear that the person affected has an incurable form of dementia. Rather than reacting with panic, however, it’s far better to try to remain calm and have a specialist make the determination. Many forms of dementia are incurable, of course, but other conditions can present symptoms that resemble those of dementia but are in fact reversible. Read more →


...Then there’s that first time when it really registers with you that your parents are aging. Perhaps this awareness occurs after one of them has suffered an emotional or physical trauma. Or it could even strike during a time of seemingly little significance, such as bright sunlight highlighting some gray in mom’s hair, or a strong reading lamp enhancing the sag in dad’s once firm jawline.   This new reality may simply nudge you, or it may sock you in the gut, but reality it is. Your parents are aging. They are on their way to “being old.” Read more →


One of the most heartbreaking things caregivers of people with Alzheimer’s hear is “I want to go home.” The request is often repeated many times a day, even though the person is, to our way of thinking, home. Anyone who has tried saying, “But you are home!” will know that logic doesn’t work. What can a caregiver do? Read more →


Birth, graduations, marriage, anniversaries, death - important moments in our lives are often celebrated by some type of ceremony. In our middle to late years, we are often encouraged to plan the type of funeral we’d like, even pre-paying so our loved ones won’t have to juggle business and grief. Everyone has different ideas about when a ceremony is appropriate, however, I’ve learned about a new ceremony that I find very appealing. Read more →


Heads nod and often tears flow. Many people feel ashamed to admit to even an inkling of relief. One brave friend told me she had to fake sadness at her mother’s funeral. Oh, she was truly sad to lose that last remnant of her mother, but she’d been sadder before, as she watches cancer ravage her mother’s frail body. Read more →


Alzheimer’s disease progresses differently for each person, scientists and clinicians have attempted to stage the disease as a way that helps people living with Alzheimer’s and their families understand what is happening, as well as to plan for the future. Some divide AD into seven stages, some five stages, but currently, three stages is the format most often used. The Alzheimer's Association uses three stages, so that is what we will use for our foundation here. Read more →


According to an AARP survey, the vast majority of boomers have stated that they want to stay in their current homes rather than move to another setting for their later years. This attitude has been the springboard for many aging in place advocates as well as businesses like contractors and high tech companies. Read more →