Minding Our Elders®

Don't Let Caregiving Ruin Your Other Relationships

In the 1970s, there were ongoing debates about whether a woman could balance a family with a career. The discussions centered on being a good wife, mother and employee.  The question seldom posed, in those days, was how, besides being a wife, mother and career woman, could a woman also be a good daughter? Today, we hear about the toll elder care takes on families as routinely as we heard the former arguments in the ‘70s. Adult children are being faced with choices (or seemingly, assignments) they never thought about before. They are raising children or teenagers and holding down a job, when suddenly they find that their aging parents need an ever-increasing amount of attention.

Read more on agingcare.com about what we owe our parents:

Path Into Healing a Fascinating Journey

Sam Oliver is a man on a mission. He’s attended many deaths as a hospice chaplain. And he has an insatiable thirst for inner healing and spiritual growth. Oliver’s latest book, The Path into Healing is another fascinating journey.

In The Path into Healing, Oliver investigates the feminine side of both genders, and the trend toward integration of the masculine/feminine aspects of every human being, leading to a spiritual wholeness.

Oliver writes of how, when children are hurt, they want their mommy. In many ways, we never lose that need. The world interferes with the human need as we are forced to “grow out of it.” However, the need remains buried. Oliver’s book, The Path into Healing, is indeed a journey worth taking. The book  is available at www.pathintohealing.com.

Awareness of Personal Growth During Caregiving Can Help Caregiver Health

In a story on health.usnews.com titled "Caregivers Face Multiple Strains Tending Older Parents," a study was examined that showed "middle-aged adults who regularly help their elderly parents get by experience a drop in health and well-being in their own lives..." The study is reported in an edition of the Journal of Gerontology: Social Sciences earlier this year.

Read more about caregiving and personal growth:

How Your Voice and Words Can Affect a Loved One During the Death Process

I've learned many valuable lessons as I've attended the deaths of loved ones. It's hard to place a value on any of them. However, one that I'll keep close to my heart is the value of the spoken word, even as a person in a coma nears death. As my mother's body was shutting down, her limbs looked as though they were rotting, but her heart kept beating. My sister, Beth, and I were at Mom's side, expecting that at any moment her heart would follow the rest of her organs, and finally she would give up. Mom could then be released from her frail body and do what she had wanted to do for months. She would join Dad, her sisters and her parents in whatever form our spirits take after the death of a worn out body.

Read more on How Your Voice and Words Affect a Loved One During Death on ouralzheimers.com:

A Spiritual Take on Caregiving

A caregiver's blog that I recommend to caregiver's seeking additional spiritual perspective can be found at Caregiversvoices.The group is closely monitored, but all caregivers are welcome to check it out. If you'd like to join, email  bigsur_1999@yahoo.com. The blog has a lovely and loving feel, with a lot of support.