Senior Housing Feed

Elder Is Welcome In Home but Private Time Still Needed

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Dear Carol: My father-in-law has had two strokes. Even though doctors have cleared his health he seems insecure on his own so we moved him in with us. We have a great setup since our kids have left home so he has a nice area all to himself. What’s happened, though, is that the easy back and forth we’d planned on has turned into Dad being my shadow. I love him and am glad to have him join us for meals and for many evenings, but my husband and I have no time alone. My husband won’t say anything for fear of upsetting Dad. I’ve gently suggested to Dad that he may want to watch different programs on his TV than those we watch. I’ve also tried to help him find ways to amuse himself at least a couple of evenings a week but he isn't interested. This situation is grating on me and I’m afraid I’ll start resenting Dad. Am I selfish? DV

Read more on Inforum about caregivers needing couple time:

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“I hold onto your book as a life preserver and am reading it slowly on purpose...I don't want it to end.”  Craig William Dayton, Film Composer 


Should I Move My Elderly Parent?

GrandfatherGrandaughter By Anita Kamiel, RN, MPS 

Readers, this is a rare guest post for MOE however I felt that the article offers so much food for thought that I wanted to pass it on. Thanks to the author and her agency, mentioned below, for this information.

"Ah.. to this there are no easy answers. There are situations where the need to move seniors from their comfortable home is not altogether apparent, nor are its benefits.

There is a pervasive attitude that moving a senior brings on Relocation Stress Syndrome and Transfer Trauma which describe the ill effects of moving on the elderly which may result in declining health and even fatality. As such, children face the decision of whether to move an elderly parent with trepidation. 

There may be ways to keep the senior in their home and familiar surroundings with a bit of elderproofing and home care, but at some point that becomes both risky and burdensome. In terms of a move, questions are: What are the risks? What are the benefits? The whole picture of the senior and their support system must be taken into account.

Continue reading "Should I Move My Elderly Parent? " »


Flexibility Needed in Elders’ Living Arrangements

OlderManDear Carol: My mother died of a heart attack nine months ago. Dad’s health is good for someone 78 years old, but I was frightened for him after Mom’s death because he seemed depressed so I convinced him to move in with me and my family. Dad has a nice room and we try to make him feel welcome. However, now he tells me that he should look for his own place because he doesn’t want to “put us out.” That makes me feel bad because he’s not putting us out. Dad was a professor and he loves to read. His personality has always seemed reclusive and unhealthy to me but Mom said it's just how he is. The problem is, we've already sold Dad's house because there was a buyer for it just three months after Mom’s death and Dad said he was okay to sell it. I know that the speed of these changes may be a shock to him but shouldn’t he be adjusting?  I just want him to feel loved. Where do we go from here? TLC

Read full article on Inforum about helping Dad find the right place to live:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

“I hold onto your book as a life preserver and am reading it slowly on purpose...I don't want it to end.”  Craig William Dayton, Film Composer

Global Alzheimer’s Study Now Enrolling


6 Tips To Help Modify Financial Drain on Alzheimer's Families

MoneyAccording to the national Alzheimer’s Association, in 2013, 15.5 million family and friends provided 17.7 billion hours of unpaid care to those with Alzheimer's and other dementias.  Also, Alzheimer's and dementia caregivers had $9.3 billion in additional health care costs of their own in the same year. Nearly 60 percent of Alzheimer's and dementia caregivers rate the emotional stress of caregiving as high or very high, and more than one-third report symptoms of depression. Remember, this is just the cost for caregivers.

Read more on HealthCentral about ways to modify the financial drain of Alzheimer's:

Support a caregiver or jump start discussion in support groups with real stories - for bulk orders of Minding Our Elders e-mail Carol

Global Alzheimer’s Study Now Enrolling


End-of-Life Issue Conversations with Your Elders Needn't Be Horrible

DadSonI've found in my experience that it isn't always the elders who shy away from end-of-life talks. Some do, of course, but many would like to discuss the arrangements they've made for finances, as well as their opinions about what measures they would want taken if they needed someone to make their decisions if they can't, however the adult children often find excuses to put off that particular "talk."

Read more on Agingcare about having that end-of-life talk:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

“I hold onto your book as a life preserver and am reading it slowly on purpose...I don't want it to end.”  Craig William Dayton, Film Composer

Global Alzheimer’s Study Now Enrolling


What to Bring When Moving Into a Nursing Home: A Complete Checklist

MovingMost of us dread the thought of moving a loved one into a skilled nursing facility, and this sentiment doesn’t change for those who are fortunate enough to have a selection of stellar facilities to choose from. We know that we are giving up a certain amount of direct oversight, which can be hard even though we are well aware of our limitations as individual caregivers. We also know deep down that this move is an admission that a loved one has passed a certain point in their health where returning home or resuming even a few aspects of self-care is no longer a possibility. In other words, this transition is a direct dose of reality.

Read the full article on Agingcare for a complete checklist to help with moving to a nursing home:

Support a caregiver or jump start discussion in support groups with real stories - for bulk orders of Minding Our Elders e-mail Carol

Global Alzheimer’s Study Now Enrolling


Aging in Place or Assisted Living: It’s About Choices

FarmAccording to an AARP survey, the vast majority of boomers have stated that they want to stay in their current homes rather than move to another setting for their later years. This attitude has been the springboard for many aging in place advocates as well as businesses like contractors and high tech companies. It’s not hard to understand why 60-year-olds would say that they want to remain in their home for life rather than move to assisted living or a nursing home. These are generally people who are relatively healthy and feel that they can hire help for whatever they need down the road.

Read more on HealthCentral about choosing between staying in the home or moving to a care facility:

Support a caregiver or jump start discussion in support groups with real stories - for bulk orders of Minding Our Elders e-mail Carol

Global Alzheimer’s Study Now Enrolling


Some Caregivers Are Also Elders: The Challenges of Caring for the Very Old

PhoneDear Carol: I am the last surviving child of my nearly 94-year-old mother who insists on living in her own home. She’s in relatively good health for 94. I don’t have a problem with her in her staying in her home except that she expects me to be there for hours every day and at the drop of a hat at night. She won’t accept hired help. I am in my 70s and widowed. A woman friend of mine and I have dreamed of taking a cruise but I can’t go because of my mother. I never talk with her about this because I don’t want to hurt her, but is this what loving our parents is about? I have some health problems of my own, and somedays I feel that she’ll outlive me. Where do we draw the line? MK

Read more on Inforum about how elderly caregivers struggle to care for their very old parents:

Support a caregiver or jump start discussion in support groups with real stories - for bulk orders of Minding Our Elders e-mail Carol

Global Alzheimer’s Study Now Enrolling


Individual Attention Important Benefit of Alzheimer’s Eating Study

FAtherSonIt’s natural for caregivers to worry if their loved one is getting sufficient nourishment. People with dementia are often a challenge because they forget to eat, or they may have problems remembering how to transfer food from the plate to their mouths. Some people have trouble chewing and swallowing, especially during later stages of dementia.

Read more on HealthCentral about a study that shows how much difference individual attention can make in eating: 

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

“I hold onto your book as a life preserver and am reading it slowly on purpose...I don't want it to end.”  Craig William Dayton, Film Composer

Global Alzheimer’s Study Now Enrolling


Overcoming the Guilt of Placing a Loved One in a Home

AnxietyFor many caregivers, placing an elder in a home spells failure on the part of the caregiver. Even when carers know they've done all they can, a subconscious nagging voice often tells them they are giving up on their parents or spouse. I'm here to tell you that you are not giving up. You are just getting help. 

Read more on HealthCentral about overcoming the guilt of placing someone in a nursing home:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

“I hold onto your book as a life preserver and am reading it slowly on purpose...I don't want it to end.”  Craig William Dayton, Film Composer

Global Alzheimer’s Study Now Enrolling