Senior Housing Feed

How Should I Prepare My Family for Grandpa Moving in?

Family6Decades ago, having Grandma come to live with the younger generations was fairly common, and it often worked well. It did for my family. When my brother and I were teenagers and our little sister a toddler, our grandmother can to live with us. Grandma was crippled by rheumatoid arthritis and could no longer live alone. My parents built a house that would accommodate the different generations, with some privacy for all, and Grandma came to live with us. The home wasn't huge by today's standards, but it was nice and well designed for our needs. The arrangement worked.

Read more on Agingcare about preparing your family for a grandparent to move in:

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Encourage Seniors to Stave Off Loneliness by Staying Active

Pool...That's just the problem. He helps out too much. Ann's dad had owned his own business and had employees. He was very successful. Ann's mom used to complain that after he retired, he wanted to run the house, but it didn't seem too serious. Then, when Ann's mom got sick, her dad's energy went into caregiving. He was a wonderful caregiver all the way through. At first, the move kept everyone busy, and the arrangement was new. But now, all of the "advice" is getting old. Ann's trying to be patient but doesn't know what to do with her dad.

Read full article on Agingcare about ways to keep elders busy:

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Aging-in-Place and Assisted Living: Pros and Cons of Each

RampOne of the diverse topics concerning aging is whether older people would prefer to update or remodel their current home — often referred to as aging in place — or look into assisted living. Many surveys, including one from AARP, indicate that most aging Americans would rather stay in their own homes.

In the following email interview, Romilla Batra, M.D., chief medical officer at SCAN Health Plan, a not-for-profit, senior-focused organization that offers one of the largest Medicare Advantage plans in California, updates us about current thinking when it comes to the pros and cons of each type of planning. Dr. Batra is a board-certified internist with more than 15 years of experience as a medical director, clinician, and educator.

Read full article on HealthCentral about the pros and cons of aging in place vs. assisted living:

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Minding Our Elders lets you know that you are not alone, that you are not going to be perfect, but you can get the job done, You do the best you can, and that is good enough. We can't be Carol, but we can learn from her going before us. What a friend to have. What a gift she gave us. – CM Jones


5 Tips to Ease Discussions with Elders about Housing

Motherdaughter3As you watch your parents or other beloved elders age, sometimes worry becomes inevitable. Should they have housing upgrades? Can they continue to live independently? Your intention isn’t to take over their lives, but you may genuinely want to start the conversation about possible future changes. How do you do this without causing a backlash?

View full slideshow about how to talk to your loved ones about housing:

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7 Tips for Preserving an Elder's Vital Sense of Dignity

BicycleRiskFearing that their aging parents could be injured, caregivers can become nagging nannies who try to stop Dad from working in his beloved shop or Mom from gardening. But insisting that elders avoid all risks can compromise their dignity and joy. So how do you find the right balance of concern and trust?

View slideshow on HealthCentral about taking steps to preserve the sense of dignity all ages deserve:

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An amazing book of stories that will touch your heart and encourage you, especially if you are a caregiver. Carol  Bradley Bursack also has an excellent website devoted to the elderly and their caregivers. - Carol Heilman


Elders and Heat-waves Can Be a Dangerous Combination

FanHeatsmallerThe heat-wave we’ve been having in most parts of the country has made many people a bit crabby. Even those who like heat tend to wilt when there is no break. However, for many elders, extreme heat can be much more than uncomfortable. Extreme heat can kill. One of the many clues that my mother-in-law was ready to move across the avenue from her condominium to a wonderful nursing home was her response one hot summer to an intense heat wave we had here in the Dakotas (yes it gets hot on the prairie). She would have every window shut tight and her fan and air conditioner turned off. No circulation. No cool air. Nothing but dead heat.

Read full article about elders and heat on HealthCentral:

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Moving Parent from Assisted Living to Memory Care May Require Creativity

WomenOldYoungDear Carol: My mom has been in assisted living for six years and she’s loved it. Unfortunately, while she’s relatively healthy, her short-term memory has nearly disappeared and her ability to make decisions is negligible. The doctor says that she is ready for a memory care unit, and there’s one in the same facility, but she’s resisting. I know that we have to move her, but I don’t know how to do it without upsetting her. Do we just tell Mom that this is what she needs to do and then simply move her? I’m terrified that she’ll give up and start failing.  Jen

Read full column on Inforum about moving a parent to memory unit:

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The stories in this fine book showed us how others have gone through similar things with their families and that is somehow reassuring. There are some helpful suggestions but mostly there is the recognition that others went through the same thing. All we can do is our best. That is greatly reassuring during these difficult emotional times. If you are a caregiver, this is a must read. - Delores Edwards


Elder Is Welcome In Home but Private Time Still Needed

Couple2

Dear Carol: My father-in-law has had two strokes. Even though doctors have cleared his health he seems insecure on his own so we moved him in with us. We have a great setup since our kids have left home so he has a nice area all to himself. What’s happened, though, is that the easy back and forth we’d planned on has turned into Dad being my shadow. I love him and am glad to have him join us for meals and for many evenings, but my husband and I have no time alone. My husband won’t say anything for fear of upsetting Dad. I’ve gently suggested to Dad that he may want to watch different programs on his TV than those we watch. I’ve also tried to help him find ways to amuse himself at least a couple of evenings a week but he isn't interested. This situation is grating on me and I’m afraid I’ll start resenting Dad. Am I selfish? DV

Read more on Inforum about caregivers needing couple time:

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“I hold onto your book as a life preserver and am reading it slowly on purpose...I don't want it to end.”  Craig William Dayton, Film Composer 


Recovering from the Guilt of Placing a Loved One in a Home

Comfort3Of course, we don't always make the right call regarding every circumstance. But we do our best. I'd hazard a guess that the most painful decision for most of us to make is whether or not it's in our loved one's best interests to place him or her in a nursing home. If it is also in our best interest, then the guilt looms even larger.

Read more on Agingcare about wondering if placing someone in a home was a mistake:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

“I hold onto your book as a life preserver and am reading it slowly on purpose...I don't want it to end.”  Craig William Dayton, Film Composer 


Alzheimer’s: Frequent Relocations May Speed Decline

Hands10Specialized care is needed at different stages of dementia. Frequently, the only way to provide that kind of care is to move the person to either a memory unit or a family home, while supplementing care provided by family members with paid in-home caregivers. In many cases, it’s simply unrealistic to expect to never have to relocate someone who has dementia. At the same time, frequently moving someone with dementia around can be problematic. While it can be a challenge for anyone, it becomes even more difficult for a person with dementia, according to the Alzheimer’s Association.

Read full article on HealthCentral about the effects of frequent moving when someone has dementia:

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Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

“I hold onto your book as a life preserver and am reading it slowly on purpose...I don't want it to end.”  Craig William Dayton, Film Composer