Minding Our Elders®

Choosing a Care Facility? Listen To Your Gut

People often ask what to look for when choosing an assisted living facility or a nursing home for a loved one. There are grading sites such as the Medicare Nursing Home Guide, found on Medicare.gov, and I suggest you use them. However, there are many things that go into good care that can’t be measured on a chart. In order to see the heart of a facility, you need to spend some time there. Observe routines and pay attention to the atmosphere. What is your gut feeling about the place?

Read more about choosing a quality care facility:

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Husband Won't Accept Wife's Help Caring for His Mom

Should Siblings Split the Cost of Parent Care?

...So, who helps with the cost? Many people think Medicare will help with these costs. Medicare does not generally pay for assisted living, though some states have programs where seniors who qualify can choose how to spend the money allotted to them through some hybrid programs involving Medicare.

Read more about how siblings may share the cost of assisted living for their parents:

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Downsizing for a Move to Assisted Living

My parents had moved from a fairly large family home to a smaller house, and eventually to an apartment, before my mom and I looked at assisted living facilities for her. By then, Dad was in a nursing home. Those gradual moves forced my parents to part with furniture and other collected belongings, yet there was still a lot to jettison when the need for a final move became apparent. My heart goes out to elders and their families when they are leaving a house that has been home for decades to move into a small assisted living room. How can you help your parent or parents through this downsizing.

Read about how to help your elders downsize for senior living:

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Do Parents Choose to Live With Their Adult Children?

...Naturally these decisions aren't only made because of economics. Most of us have at least a little of the "we take care of our own" mentality. Our parents took care of us, and likely their own parents. Now it's our turn to take care of them. Also, many people are distrustful of hired caregivers, either because of horror stories spread through decades or because they've had a friend who has had a bad experience. Together, these feelings can make the idea of the parents moving into the adult children's home seem like the best solution for all involved.

Read more about parents living with their adult children:

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Photo Albums and Memory Books Helpful When Visiting Elders

Many people are reluctant to visit elders, whether they are in their homes or a facility, mainly because they wonder what they’ll talk about. While this reluctance is more of a worry if the elder has memory problems from dementia, it’s often a problem even when memory isn’t an issue.

Since elders by definition have many decades of life to their credit, they will likely enjoy looking back on the past. This is especially important when people have Alzheimer’s disease, because their disease prevents them from forming new memories. Nearly everyone enjoys reminiscing to some degree. To help you kick off a nice visit with the elder you intend to spend time with try bringing some props. Physical reminders should help your visit go more smoothly.

Read about ideas for spurring memories:

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Unexpected Fees In Assisted Living: Understand the Contract

Assisted living facilities provide a safe environment with convenient meals and social opportunities in their base package. They are generally set up so that an elder can obtain help if he or she falls or has another emergency. Many also offer transportation by bus or other means for group outings or to specific locations.

But what about the basics of personal care? Many assisted living facilities don't provide in the "base" package, help with dressing, bathing, keeping track of prescription refills, setting up daily doses, injecting medications such as insulin, and a companion for trips to doctor appointments. So make sure you understand what services they do and don't offer per the contract, and what services may be available, but would cost extra. You might get some services you are expecting, but not all.

Read more about assisted living, terms and costs:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

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Rebuilding Life After Your Care Receiver Dies

Should Your Parents Move In With You?

...Naturally these decisions aren't only made because of economics. Most of us have at least a little of the "we take care of our own" mentality. Our parents took care of us, and likely their own parents. Now it's our turn to take care of them. Also, many people are distrustful of hired caregivers, either because of horror stories spread through decades or because they've had a friend who has had a bad experience. Together, these feelings can make the idea of the parents moving into the adult children's home seem like the best solution for all involved.

Read more about inviting your parents to living with you:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

 

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Family Involvement in Senior Living Facility

...The nursing home staff would occasionally confide in me about families who "took over" the nursing home. The families came on like they owned the facility and their loved one was the only person who mattered. They cornered every staff member they could find and talked to them either with the attitude of a good neighbor who had all the time in the world, or as an adversary who needed constant monitoring. Neither attitude is good.

Read about family involvement in senior living facility:

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Finding the Right Senior Housing for Your Loved One

Everyone has their own personal checklist for finding good housing for their elderly parent. We want them safe, well cared for and happy. Happy depends a great deal on the individual, but safe and well cared for should be part of the bargain. So, what do you look for when you tour a center?

Finding the right housing for your loved one's care needs:

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