Senior Housing Feed

Decades ago, having Grandma come to live with the younger generations was fairly common, and it often worked well. It did for my family. When my brother and I were teenagers and our little sister a toddler, our grandmother can to live with us. Grandma was crippled by rheumatoid arthritis and could no longer live alone. My parents built a house that would accommodate the different generations, with some privacy for all, and Grandma came to live with us. The home wasn't huge by today's standards, but it was nice and well designed for our needs. The arrangement worked. Read more →

That's just the problem. He helps out too much. Ann's dad had owned his own business and had employees. He was very successful. Ann's mom used to complain that after he retired, he wanted to run the house, but it didn't seem too serious. Then, when Ann's mom got sick, her dad's energy went into caregiving. He was a wonderful caregiver all the way through. Read more →

One of the diverse topics concerning aging is whether older people would prefer to update or remodel their current home — often referred to as aging in place — or look into assisted living. Many surveys, including one from AARP, indicate that most aging Americans would rather stay in their own homes. Read more →

As you watch your parents or other beloved elders age, sometimes worry becomes inevitable. Should they have housing upgrades? Can they continue to live independently? Your intention isn’t to take over their lives, but you may genuinely want to start the conversation about possible future changes. How do you do this without causing a backlash? Read more →

Fearing that their aging parents could be injured, caregivers can become nagging nannies who try to stop Dad from working in his beloved shop or Mom from gardening. But insisting that elders avoid all risks can compromise their dignity and joy. So how do you find the right balance of concern and trust? Read more →

Dear Carol: My mom has been in assisted living for six years and she’s loved it. Unfortunately, while she’s relatively healthy, her short-term memory has nearly disappeared and her ability to make decisions is negligible. The doctor says that she is ready for a memory care unit, and there’s one in the same facility, but she’s resisting. I know that we have to move her, but I don’t know how to do it without upsetting her. Do we just tell Mom that this is what she needs to do and then simply move her? I’m terrified that she’ll give up and start failing. Jen Read more →

Dear Carol: My father-in-law has had two strokes. Even though doctors have cleared his health he seems insecure on his own so we moved him in with us. We have a great setup since our kids have left home so he has a nice area all to himself. What’s happened, though, is that the easy back and forth we’d planned on has turned into Dad being my shadow. I love him and am glad to have him join us for meals and for many evenings, but my husband and I have no time alone. My husband won’t say anything for fear of upsetting Dad. I’ve gently suggested to Dad that he may want to watch different programs on his TV than those we watch. I’ve also tried to help him find ways to amuse himself at least a couple of evenings a week but he isn't interested. This situation is grating on me and I’m afraid I’ll start resenting Dad. Am I selfish? DV Read more →

Of course, we don't always make the right call regarding every circumstance. But we do our best. I'd hazard a guess that the most painful decision for most of us to make is whether or not it's in our loved one's best interests to place him or her in a nursing home. If it is also in our best interest, then the guilt looms even larger. Read more →

Specialized care is needed at different stages of dementia. Frequently, the only way to provide that kind of care is to move the person to either a memory unit or a family home, while supplementing care provided by family members with paid in-home caregivers. In many cases, it’s simply unrealistic to expect to never have to relocate someone who has dementia. Read more →