Siblings Feed

How a Family Mediator Can Restore Family Peace

TreesLostEven siblings who grew up together with fondness for each other often have different ideas about what the right care for aging parents incorporates. When siblings have clashing personalities, or family issues have driven them apart, finding middle ground on anything can be extra challenging.   However, the reality is that for many families the time eventually comes when adult children must make decisions for their parents’ living arrangement, medical care and even end of life treatment. We have more options for care than we did a couple of decades ago, 

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Do Your Parents Really Want to Live With You?

GranddaughterWhile the numbers of aging parents living with their adult children don't quite signify a trend, there is certainly a lot more interest in the arrangement than a decade ago. Part of the reason for this doubling up of households is the economy. It's cheaper for two families to live in one home than for each to have a separate home.

Read more on Agingcare about whether or not your parents may want to live with you:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

“I hold onto your book as a life preserver and am reading it slowly on purpose...I don't want it to end.”  Craig William Dayton, Film Composer

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Do Sibling Issues Make Your Caregiving Harder?

Dramatictree...For most families, the journey through the mine of elder care decisions falls somewhere between the two extremes. Elder care has a way of sneaking up on people. Generally, if there is an adult child living in the same town as the aging parents, it is this child who becomes, at the first sign of need, the default caregiver. That usually makes sense. You live in town.

Read more on Agingcare about families where siblings issues make caregiving harder:

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Respect Diverse Approaches to Caregiving

As a caregiver for multiple elders – at one time I was providing some type of care to five elders in three locations, as well as caring for my children – I've received my share of criticism. There were those who felt that I should have provided for my elders in my home. Of course, these weren't people who knew my family's full situation. They were casual onlookers. Sidewalk superintendents, if you will. 

Read more on Agingcare about respecting other's approaches to caregiving:

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How To Be a True Friend to a Family Caregiver

Caregivers often find that many of their superficial friends drift away over time because the caregiver is too busy to have fun. These friends are not bad people. They simply don't know what to do to help the caregiver and they find it easier to share their time with people whose lives are less complicated. Are you this kind of friend?

Read more on Agingcare about how to be a true friend to a caregiver:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

“I hold onto your book as a life preserver and am reading it slowly on purpose...I don't want it to end.”  Craig William Dayton, Film Composer

Find local resources for walk-in tubs:


Vital Financial Record Keeping Tips for Caregivers

For caregivers who are constantly on the run trying to meet the needs of their vulnerable loved one, paperwork can become what seems like an insurmountable burden. But paperwork comes with the job, especially if you have Power Of Attorney. 

View slide show on HealthCentral about keeping financial records for our loved ones:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

“I hold onto your book as a life preserver and am reading it slowly on purpose...I don't want it to end.”  Craig William Dayton, Film Composer


When Caregiver Doesn’t Communicate With Family

Dear Carol: My sister is the sole caregiver for our mother who has several health problems including early dementia. Our dad died about six months ago and it seems that mom is declining quickly. My brother and I would like to help, but we both live several hundred miles away from where Mom and our sister live. We would like to receive more frequent updates from our caregiving sister than we do.

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Veteran Caregiver for Multiple Elders Tells It Like It Is

It’s been nearly a decade since I began sharing my personal caregiving stories with the public, first via the book “Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories” and later through a newspaper column, on my own blog and then contributing to major websites such as healthcentral.com.


When I first started sharing my stories and looking for others who had similar tales to tell, people tended to be reticent about speaking up. Now, sharing caregiver “in the trenches” stories has become a major part of caregiver self-care and even survival.


Because of my long Internet history, I’m often interviewed in print and on radio. A recent radio interview on a show called “Doing What Works,” hosted by Maureen Anderson, touched on many topics that I’ve written about for Healthcentral.com over time, so I’m sharing links to those stories here for those who want to dig deeper.

Read more on HealthCentral:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

“I hold onto your book as a life preserver and am reading it slowly on purpose...I don't want it to end.”  Craig William Dayton, Film Composer


Preparing the Family for Grandparents Moving In

...My parents built a house that would accommodate the different generations, with some privacy for all, and Grandma came to live with us. The home wasn't huge by today's standards, but it was nice and well designed for our needs. The arrangement worked.

Read more about how to prepare for elderly parents moving in:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

“I hold onto your book as a life preserver and am reading it slowly on purpose...I don't want it to end.”


Staying Open Minded About Others Caregiving Choices

...Being human, I suppose we all second guess others to some degree, at least in our thoughts. However, when we do that, we should have a way of reminding ourselves that we don't have the same life situation as the person we may be criticizing.

Read more on Agingcare about respecting other caregivers's choices:

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