Minding Our Elders®

Is It Wise To Quit a Job to Be a Caregiver?

You already know what may be gained by giving up employment and becoming the sole caregiver for your parents. You are the hands-on person and know their care intimately. You know how they are doing day and night and you hope they will appreciate your help. They raised you and you want to give back.

Read more about quitting a paying job to care for your parents:

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Should Siblings Split the Cost of Parent Care?

...So, who helps with the cost? Many people think Medicare will help with these costs. Medicare does not generally pay for assisted living, though some states have programs where seniors who qualify can choose how to spend the money allotted to them through some hybrid programs involving Medicare.

Read more about how siblings may share the cost of assisted living for their parents:

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“My New Granny” Helpful for Children Affected by Grandparent’s Alzheimer’s

Alzheimer’s is a family disease. Not only does it affect the person with the diagnosis, it affects the spouse, adult children and even the grandchildren. My dad didn’t have Alzheimer’s, but he developed a severe post-surgical dementia, so I’ve got first-hand knowledge about how traumatic it is for grandchildren to witness their grandparent’s cognitive decline.

Well executed children’s books are one way to help. I reviewed Still My Grandma and What's Happening to Grandpa? a couple of years ago. Both are informative, comforting books that can help young children understand that their grandparent is still their grandparent even though he or she has changed. They also let the child know that he or she isn’t alone.

Read more about My New Granny: Children's book about Alzheimer's:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

 

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Humor Provides Armor Against Caregivers’ Deepest Sorrows

One of the positive parts of being a family caregiver is the opportunity for emotional growth. We can develop increased compassion, patience and tolerance, as well as humor. Yes, we often shed tears over our loved one’s illness and often over our feelings of powerlessness.  But humor may be the saving grace that keeps us from drowning in sorrow.

Some situations, of course, leave no room for laughter. But some tough times can offer moments of levity if we choose to recognize them. My sister, Beth, and I experienced what to some people may be a rather macabre situation during the three days our mother was going through the death process. If we hadn’t maintained our senses of humor, I’m not sure how we would have handled those sad, seemingly endless days.

Read more about recognizing humor in difficult situations:

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Are Your Siblings in Denial About Your Aging Parents?

...even with updates and warnings, a distance sibling doesn't always get the full picture. Added to that is the disturbing reality that often an elder will perk up when the long-distance adult child shows up for a visit, making the caregiver look like he or she is exaggerating the illness of the parent. That's only natural. The parent is thrilled to see the long-lost child. Everyone is excited and the adrenaline is pumping.

Read more about siblings in denial about aging parents:

National TV talk show looking for siblings who have conflict over caring for aging loved one. If  you are interested, please contact me.

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

 

 

Only Children Vs. Sharing Decisions With Siblings – Which is Easier?

In the world of caregiving, sibling issues abound. Any problems that were around when you were growing up will likely turn up again, as your parents age. The pecking order rarely changes. The "girl" work and the "boy" work rarely changes. There are exceptions, of course. And there are a few families that get along so well that these issues never are a problem. But watching our parents age is nearly always difficult, and when you throw in complicated decisions about whether to go ahead with dangerous or expensive treatment with a frail elder, differences of opinion abound. Even living decisions - stay home, assisted living, nursing home? - can cause great conflict.

Read more about sibling conflict over aging parents' care:

National TV talk show is looking for siblings who have conflict over caring for aging loved one. If  you are interested, please contact me.

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook