Spirituality Feed

Keep Holiday Expectations Realistic and Make Adjustments Where You Can

Family5Dear Carol: Last year Christmas was a mess and I’m determined to make this year better. Dad had a stroke two years ago and uses a wheelchair and mom has rheumatoid arthritis and uses a walker, so they both need a place with easy access. That would be my house. Both of my brothers, their wives, and their children join us. Along with our kids, the total of children is five. They are good kids but noisy which bothers my dad. Also, my brothers have opposing political views so I’m praying they don’t get into politics. To make things even more complicated, Mom is super judgmental and finds something to complain about in everything said by anyone even though they didn’t say anything that should offend her. I love my family and this isn’t about the work of hosting a holiday dinner. My siblings bring side dishes so I don’t have to do everything. It’s the personalities all together for eight hours and two meals that I dread. How do I handle this potential mess better than before? MW

Read the full article on Inforum about making a family celebration run more smoothly:

Christmas Gift for your Elders - Peace of Mind for You:  Simple Smart Phone with Large Screen, Jitterbug flip phone, Urgent Response Device   For help CALL:  1-866-222-0703

Support caregivers this CHRISTMAS by giving them copies  of Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories. ORDER EARLY before supplies run out.


How Can You Help? Tips for Visiting a Dementia Caregiver

Friends2People get worried about visiting caregivers. They are concerned about intruding or what to say or do in certain situations. But it is great when someone makes the effort and most caregivers find the contact and support of others invaluable. Here are seven tips to allay your concerns about visiting caregivers to people with Alzheimer’s or another type of dementia.

View slideshow on HealthCentral about visiting a dementia caregiver:

Christmas Gift for your Elders - Peace of Mind for You:  Simple Smart Phone with Large Screen, Jitterbug flip phone, Urgent Response Device   For help CALL:  1-866-222-0703

Support caregivers this CHRISTMAS by giving them copies  of Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories. ORDER EARLY before supplies run out.


AARP and National Association of Area Agencies on Aging Campaign to Fight Elder Loneliness

LonelyWomanNews via PBS:  "The first-of-its-kind campaign, organized by the AARP Foundation and the National Association of Area Agencies on Aging, aims to help seniors assess their social connectedness and suggest practical ways they can forge bonds with other people...Addressing stigma will be a priority. ..'Who wants to admit that, ‘I’m isolated and I’m lonely?' said Dallas Jamison, a spokeswoman for the National Association of Area Agencies on Aging.'It’s a source of shame and embarrassment.'”

Read full article  on how loneliness contributes to disease: 

Read related article on how loneliness contributes to heart attack and dementia: 

50% off Black Friday: Christmas Gift for your Elders - Peace of Mind for You:  Simple Smart Phone with Large Screen, Jitterbug flip phone, Urgent Response Device   For help CALL:  1-866-222-0703

Support caregivers this CHRISTMAS by giving them copies  of Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories. ORDER EARLY before supplies run out.


Acceptance of Reality Precedes Gratitude and Peace

AnxietyDEAR CAROL: My wife has had a stroke that’s left her mostly paralyzed on one side. She can’t speak well and she cries often. We’re in our 70s and have spent our lives as active church people. In fact, we’ve done our share of visiting hospitals and nursing homes representing the church. We’ve told people that what they are facing is their reality and that we will pray for them. We’ve told them to be grateful for what they have. Now, the shoe is on the other foot. I’m having a difficult time feeling grateful for anything at all. Instead, I feel angry, exhausted, frustrated and frightened. How could I have been such a hypocrite all of these years? – Roger

Read more on Inforum about acceptance making gratitude possible:

50% off Black Friday: Christmas Gift for your Elders - Peace of Mind for You:  Simple Smart Phone with Large Screen, Jitterbug flip phone, Urgent Response Device   For help CALL:  1-866-222-0703

Christmas Gift for your Elders - Peace of Mind for You:  Simple Smart Phone with Large Screen, Jitterbug flip phone, Urgent Response Device   For help CALL:  1-866-222-0703

Support caregivers this CHRISTMAS by giving them copies  of Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories. ORDER EARLY before supplies run out.


There's no Age-Based "Shelf Life” on Seniors' Ability to Live Independently

DadSonDear Carol: My dad is 73. He’s healthy, vital and lives in the same home that I grew up in. Dad volunteers for the Retired Senior Volunteer Program (RSVP) and loves it. He even met a woman who is also volunteering and they have fun together. Yet, I have people who ask me when I’m going to make Dad get out of that house and move somewhere safer. I know that many of these people have parents with health problems that affect their ability to live alone. I’m sorry for them all but I’m tired of being pressured to take over Dad’s life just because he’s in his 70s. I’m not neglecting Dad. It’s true that after mom died 10 years ago it set him back for a time, but he eventually moved forward. How do I let people know that I’m sad for them if they have parents with health problems but I’m happy about Dad and not going to try to “make” him do anything he doesn’t want to do. That would, to me, seem disrespectful, to say nothing of the fact that he’d refuse anyway. How do I respond to this pressure? PT

Read more on Inforum about how healthy seniors can live well on their own:

Christmas Gift for your Elders -  Peace of Mind for You:  Simple Smart Phone with Large Screen, Jitterbug flip phone, Urgent Response Device    For Help CALL:  1-866-222-0703

Support caregivers this CHRISTAMS by giving them copies  of Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories. ORDER EARLY before supplies run out.


Finding Our Way to Gratitude During Difficult Times

Lonebird3It’s easy to feel grateful when life is going well and certainly it’s desirable to acknowledge life at its best with appropriate gratitude. What’s not easy is finding gratitude when life hard. Is it even realistic to try? Yes. Discovering gratitude during difficult times can be a giant step toward peace.

View slideshow on HealthCentral about finding ways toward gratitude when times are hard:

Christmas Gift for your Elders - Peace of Mind for You:  Simple Smart Phone with Large Screen, Jitterbug flip phone, Urgent Response Device   For help CALL:  1-866-222-0703

Support caregivers this CHRISTMAS by giving them copies  of Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories. ORDER EARLY before supplies run out.


When Caregiving is Over - What Then?

Journal1...Yet, when we don't learn to let go of the stress of caregiving once it's over, our physical and mental health may continue to suffer. Adjusting to a new – hopefully better – normal takes courage, insight and time. For me, the road to normalcy meant trekking backward through my mind to keep alive memories of the times before my loved ones became so vulnerable.

Read more on Agingcare about how to adjust to a new normal after long-term caregiving:

Christmas Gift for your Elders -  Peace of Mind for You:  Simple Smart Phone with Large Screen, Jitterbug flip phone, Urgent Response Device    For Help CALL:  1-866-222-0703

Support caregivers this Christmas by giving them copies  of Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories:


Choosing Gratitude when Coping with Devastating Illness

Prayer3Most of us have a hard time finding gratitude in the midst of trouble. That's human. However, I believe in my heart, that gratitude, when sought, can improve our own quality of life whatever the circumstances we are facing. Thanksgiving, a holiday many of us celebrate even if it's by watching a football game and eating too much, is supposed to be a time to reflect upon our blessings. But I've seen some people forget that they have multiple blessings just because "their" team lost the Thanksgiving Day game! While that's a rather silly example of our human ignorance of the range of things we have to be grateful for, it's true that many of us fail to pause and reflect on the good we have in our lives.

Read more on HealthCentral about gratitude during trouble:

Christmas Gift for your Elders -  Peace of Mind for You:  Simple Smart Phone with Large Screen, Jitterbug flip phone, Urgent Response Device    For Help CALL:  1-866-222-0703

Support a caregiver this Christmas with Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories - for bulk orders of Minding Our Elders e-mail Carol


Loved Ones Often Rally Before Death Causing Confusion for Family

DeathComfort...I have known many hospice professionals who have seen their patients rally shortly before death. They have expressed that some patients want to talk. Some become restless and act as if they need to start preparing for a trip. Others will simply become more relaxed, yet tuned in. Still, others will simply show signs of physical stability when, seconds before, they seemed on the edge of letting go. Some of these rallies are momentary, while others can last a day or more. Short or long, these rallies generally have a profound effect on the loved ones sitting vigil.

Read full article on Agingcare about loved ones who rally before death:

Christmas Gift for your Elders -  Peace of Mind for You:  Simple Smart Phone with Large Screen, Jitterbug flip phone, Urgent Response Device    For Help CALL:  1-866-222-0703

Support caregivers this CHRISTMAS by giving them copies  of Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories. ORDER EARLY before supplies run out.


Changing Terminology Can Make Accepting End-Of-Life Decisions Easier

DeathDear Carol: My family is having a serious disagreement over signing papers for our mom who has just entered a nursing home. I have Power Of Attorney and am favor of signing a Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) form for Mom. She has always told us she didn’t want to linger when her time came. While she is going into the nursing home for physical, she is showing some signs of early stage dementia so it’s important that we get this done. My brother and sister both think that a DNR is cruel and that it’s like killing Mom. They think that everything should be done to keep her alive as long as possible. Her POA even states that she doesn’t want to be kept alive at all cost. Because of this, I think I can push through the DNR, but I feel bad because my siblings are upset. I know that they don’t want to see Mom suffer unnecessarily but they feel guilty taking this formal step. How do I get through to them that there’s a point where people allowed to go? CD

Read more about Allow Natural Death on Inforum:

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