Minding Our Elders®

How Involved Should Family Be In Your Elder's Senior Living?

...The nursing home staff would occasionally confide in me about families who "took over" the nursing home. The families came on like they owned the facility and their loved one was the only person who mattered. They cornered every staff member they could find and talked to them either with the attitude of a good neighbor who had all the time in the world, or as an adversary who needed constant monitoring. Neither attitude is good.

Read more about how involved families should be in facility care:

 

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

 

Related articles

Serene Atmosphere Can Relax Care Receiver

Elders, Love and Sex: What Are Their Rights?

Making Caregiving a Team Effort

...During my years of caregiving, one incident in particular made me realize that in order for caregivers to keep their sanity, they have to eliminate that "I" by building a support team. What happened that led to my epiphany?

Read about building a caregiving team to help everyone get by more easily:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

Related articles

Eating Issues: How to Cope

Humor Provides Armor Against Caregivers' Deepest Sorrows

Not All Caregivers Care for "Loved One"

It's Spring: Time to Refresh Our Caregiving Routines

Family Caregivers Provide Nursing Services with Little Professional Support

Where Is the Line Between Caregiver Stress and Burnout?

Every person who becomes a caregiver will have unique personality traits, yet we nearly always share certain feelings and experiences as we travel a road similar to one another. That’s one reason that caregivers often turn to other caregivers for support. It’s a version of the adage that we need to walk in another’s shoes in order to truly understand what they feel. One of those shared experiences is a certain amount of stress.

Read more about the line between caregiver stress and burnout:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

 

Related articles

Eating Issues: How to Cope

It's Spring: Time to Refresh Our Caregiving Routines

Not All Caregivers Care for "Loved One"

Different Dementia Types Can Co-Exist

Dear Carol: I’m confused about my husband’s Alzheimer’s diagnosis. He was first diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease three years ago, but now we are told he is showing Parkinson’s symptoms. The doctor talks to all of us like we should know everything about dementia and Parkinson’s, and our questions just seem to annoy him. The more I read about the different types of dementia the more confused I get. This new information about Parkinson’s disease has just made it worse. Are there different types of Alzheimer’s? – Lila

Read more about confusing Alzheimer's diagnoses:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

Related articles

Alzheimer's Disease Doesn't Just Affect the Aged

Cataract Surgery Improves Mood, Cognition in People with Dementia

Has Dementia Turned Your Parent or Spouse Into a Stranger?

Alzheimer’s Can Dramatically Alter Financial Future

Alzheimer’s organizations, as well as the National Institutes of Health, have provided us with an abundance of statistics highlighting the financial effect of Alzheimer’s disease on the family of someone with the disease. A person who has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s can be expected to live with the disease anywhere from six to 20 years. For many of those years, the person with Alzheimer’s will likely require paid outside help, and the cost of that help can be financially devastating.

Read more about how Alzheimer's can change your finanicial future:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

Write text here...

Related articles

Alzheimer's Disease Doesn't Just Affect the Aged

Alzheimer's Symptoms Often Manageable without Drugs

Delaying Alzheimer's with Mental Enrichment

Should You Get Genetic Testing for Alzheimer's Disease?

Lack of Oxygen to the Brain Could be Cause of Many Cases of Alzheimer's

Cataract Surgery Improves Mood, Cognition in People with Dementia

Husband Won’t Accept Wife’s Help Caring for His Mom

Dear Carol: After my mother-in-law had a stroke, she developed mild dementia. My husband and I were able to take care of her needs until recently, but because of her deteriorating health she has been admitted to a facility near our home. She is really very content. This should be a cause to celebrate, but since her admission my husband has become overwhelmed and stubborn.  He neglects the paperwork that he needs to do for his mother’s care until it piles up and we get phone calls that could threaten her stay at the nursing home. I’ve repeatedly told him that I’ll help with the paperwork, but he won’t allow me to touch it.

Read more about caregivers who refuse help:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

Related articles

The Stubborn Stigma of Dementia: How to Cope

Help Elders Endure Isolation Due to Flu Outbreak

Serene Atmosphere Can Relax Care Receiver

Emotionally Descriptive Words Lost to Those With Semantic Dementia

Personality change is the hallmark of frontotemporal dementia (FTD), but a small percentage of people with FTD experience an additional problem. They lose the ability to understand the meaning conveyed by words that describe emotion.

People who love someone with this variant of FTD, which is called semantic dementia have to live with increased heartache knowing that their loved one is now unable to understand emotionally expressive phrases such as "I'm sad" or "I love you."

Read more about the lost meaning of emotionally descriptive words:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

Related articles

Lewy Body Dementia Often Confused With Alzheimer's

Chronic Pain Management in People With Dementia Complicated

Has Dementia Turned Your Parent or Spouse Into a Stranger?

Positive Coping Strategies Help Slow Alzheimer's

Women Caregivers Report More Health Issues Than Men

Coping with Criticism from the Person You Care For

Caregivers frequently turn their lives inside out in order to care for their loved ones in decline. I know, because I've done it. The number of elders who depended on my help increased throughout the years, to a total of seven, though the most I cared for at one time was five. I also had two children and work part time writing as a freelancer.  Each care situation was different. I started with an aged neighbor, then moved on to a childless aunt and uncle, my in-laws and eventually my parents. All of them appreciated me. However they each had moments when, because of their own misery, they’d lash out at me in some way.

Read more about how to cope with criticism from a care receiver:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

 

Related articles

Caregiving Rewards Can Outlast Challenges

Serene Atmosphere Can Relax Care Receiver

Eating Issues: How to Cope

The Stubborn Stigma of Dementia: How to Cope

Staying Ahead of Alzheimer’s Wandering

Dear Carol: My mom has mid-stage Alzheimer’s. She lives with me and, for now, seems safe enough at home while I’m at work. What concerns me is that she’s started talking about wanting to “go home.” I’m aware that this could mean that she’s looking for her childhood home, and that makes me worry about her making a sudden decision go off by herself to look for that home. What steps can I take to help keep her safe? Emma

Dear Emma:  You are right that this could be a signal for you to be vigilant about wandering. While frequently caregivers don’t feel like they’ve had any warning that their loved one may wander, often there are subtle signs that this behavior is a possibility at any time.

Read more about preventing Alzheimer's wandering:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

 

Related articles

Positive Coping Strategies Help Slow Alzheimer's

Study Says Exercise Key to Preventing Alzheimer's

Tips to Prevent Alzheimer's Related Wandering

Alzheimer's Can Dramatically Change Financial Future

PBS Airs "Hopeful Aging" This Week

Alzheimer's symptoms can often be managed through compassionate, non-pharmacological methods, or in conjunction with pharmacological methods. In 2010, I reviewed the remarkable book by John Zeisel, Ph.D., titled "I'm Still Here."

Within the next two weeks or so, your local PBS station should be airing "Hopeful Aging," which is based on the "I'm Still Here" approach to helping people with Alzheimer's live a quality life. Take a look at the trailer below. If you're interested, check you local listings. This is bound to be an informative, compassionate look at aging.

Trailer for "Hopeful Aging"

 

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

 

Related articles

Alzheimer's Vaccine May Be Available in Three to Five Years

Lewy Body Dementia Often Confused With Alzheimer's

Alzheimer’s Symptoms Often Manageable without Drugs

Alzheimer’s disease cannot as yet be prevented or cured. While there are some medications that may help some people with the symptoms of the disease, they have drawbacks. With this in mind, some experts feel that many symptoms of the disease are better treated with behavior interventions.

An article on newswise.com reports on the work of Johns Hopkins University School of Nursing (JHUSON) professor Laura N. Gitlin, PhD and her colleagues. These scientists are promoting the concept that if physicians integrate behavioral management strategies into early ongoing treatment, behavior changes can be controlled.

 

Read more about managing Alzheimer's symptoms without drugs:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

Related articles

Lewy Body Dementia Often Confused With Alzheimer's

Old Movies, Old Music: Bringing Back Memories Isn't Just About Nostalgia

Is Alzheimer's Disease the Default Diagnosis for Confused Elders?

Loneliness May Increase Dementia, Heart Attack and Stroke Risk

Rebuilding Life After Your Care Receiver Dies

When a Loved One Can't Understand Valentine's Day

Flowers and cards were a big deal to my parents, especially on Valentine's Day and their anniversary. Sadly, after dad's failed brain surgery threw him into dementia it was obvious that Dad would no longer be able to actively participate.

I knew Dad, if he could make that decision, would want to give Mom flowers and a card. I knew Mom would want to do the same for him. The only problem was, neither of them was capable of choosing a card or arranging for flowers to be delivered. And Dad couldn't even understand what the celebration was about. How do we celebrate special occasions when one or more of the people involved can't participate? Do we follow through, or do we pretend the special day doesn't exist?

Read more about how to help loved ones celebrate Valentine's Day:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

Related articles

Dementia and the Holidays: Still Liking Our Loved Ones When It's Over

Study Shows Mental Decline in Elders After Hospital Stay Significant

Book Relates Account of Marriage Challenged by Early Onset Alzheimer’s

It’s a rare marriage that lasts for decades without some tumultuous times and Pat Moffett’s marriage to his wife Carmen was no exception. However, despite a legal separation along the way, they eventually endured. As their children began their adult lives away from the family home, the Moffetts looked forward to retirement and more quality time together.

That dream evaporated the day Carmen flew into an uncontrollable rage during a normal conversation with their visiting daughter. Out of nowhere, Carmen started screaming at Pat, poised to attack him.

Read more about the book "Ice Cream in the Cupboard"

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

Related articles

When Elders Don't Accept Outside Caregivers

Tips for New Caregivers

Has Dementia Turned Your Parent or Spouse Into a Stranger?

Although Alzheimer’s disease is likely the most common and well-known dementia, the reality is that there are many other types of dementia. One lesser known but increasingly recognized dementia is frontotemporal. FTD generally presents itself as a baffling change in a loved one's personality. A recent New York Times story titled The Vanishing Mind: When Illness Makes a Spouse a Stranger illustrates the stunning effect that FTD can have on a long-term marriage.

Read more about how dementia can change your loved one's personality:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

 

Related articles

Dementia and the Holidays: Still Liking Our Loved Ones When It's Over

Chronic Pain Management in People With Dementia Complicated

Driving and Dementia: When and How to Have the Talk

Educating Grandchildren and Their Friends About Alzheimer's and Dementia

Emotionally Descriptive Words Lose Meaning with Semantic Dementia

Life After a Dementia Diagnosis

Dental Health Linked to Dementia Risk

Women Caregivers Report More Health Issues Than Men

A report from the meeting of The American Geriatrics Society held in Seattle focused on the differences between reported health issues affecting male and female spousal caregivers. The period of concern for the caregiver’s health covered the time during active caregiving and continued up to three years after the death of his or her spouse.

According to the report, the health of surviving wives suffered more than the health of surviving husbands. A post on the New Old Age Blog titled A Special Burden for Women discusses the findings of University of California, San Francisco, researchers. Not surprisingly, the researchers say that caring for an ailing spouse is extremely difficult emotionally and physically for either gender. However, the researchers discovered that three years after the death of their spouse, surviving wives reportedly fared worse than surviving husbands.

Read more about women caregivers and their health issues:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

 

Related articles

Tips for New Caregivers

Questions Potential Caregivers Should Ask Themselves

Caregiving Rewards Can Outlast Challenges

Studies of Alzheimer's Caregivers May Overlook Non-Spouses

Tips to Prevent Alzheimer’s Related Wandering

During a time when my father-in-law was ill, I sat with him while my mother-in-law went to the grocery store. This store was only a few blocks away from their home and she’d made the trip routinely for years. Only this time, she was gone so long we were worried. Once she finally returned she admitted to getting lost and having had trouble finding her way home. What happened to her is what Alzheimer’s disease experts call wandering.

What happened to her is what Alzheimer’s disease experts call wandering. Wandering can occur during nearly any stage of Alzheimer’s, though people in the later stages of the disease are often the most at risk for a tragic outcome. 

Read more about wandering and what you can do to prevent it:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

Related articles

"My New Granny" Helpful for Children Affected by Grandparent's Alzheimer's

Global Attention to Alzheimer's Must Include Educating Public

People with Alzheimer's and Their Caregivers Fight back

Educating Grandchildren and Their Friends About Alzheimer's and Dementia

Alzheimer's Symptoms Often Manageable without Drugs

Driving and Dementia: When and How to Have the Talk

Taking away an elder’s driving privileges is one of the most dreaded challenges that adult children, or spouses of people with dementia, face. The ability to drive oneself to a chosen destination is often the ultimate sign of independence. Conversely, being forced to stop driving is generally viewed by elders as a major loss of independence. Yet, an unfit driver is a potential killer. When should a person quit driving, and how do we convince our loved one that he or she must give up this independence?

A story in the January edition of the Mayo Clinic newsletter focuses on the dementia and driving problem. The article points out that while memory is an issue, a person with Alzheimer’s or another dementia may have trouble prioritizing visual cues which could have even more of an impact on driving safety.

Read more about how to convince an elder to quit driving:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

Related articles

Dementia and the Holidays: Still Liking Our Loved Ones When It's Over

Old Movies, Old Music: Bringing Back Memories Isn't Just About Nostalgia

Life After a Dementia Diagnosis

Dental Health Linked to Dementia Risk

Chronic Pain Management in People With Dementia Complicated

Emotionally Descriptive Words Lose Meaning with Semantic Dementia

Personality change is the hallmark of frontotemporal dementia (FTD), but a small percentage of people with FTD experience an additional problem. They lose the ability to understand the meaning conveyed by words that describe emotion. People who love someone with this variant of FTD, which is called semantic dementia have to live with increased heartache knowing that their loved one is now unable to understand emotionally expressive phrases such as "I'm sad" or "I love you."

Read more about how emotional words can lose meaning with dementia:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

 

Related articles

Dementia and the Holidays: A Challenging Combination

How Much Do People With Alzheimer's Understand?

Mapping Out Dad’s Future Care

Dear Carol: My dad has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. He’s considered Stage 2, according to the doctor, which is apparently quite early. Yet, I see many challenges now and of course many more in the future. How do we approach this?  - Jon   

Dear Jon: Alzheimer’s professionals have designated stages to describe where a person is in the course of the disease. Labels tend to give people a feeling of control, and Alzheimer’s does have a trajectory that is somewhat predictable. However, each person with the disease travels the path at his or her own rate. You are smart to start working with your dad now to map out a plan. Just remember to stay flexible within the plan and help your dad understand the need for this flexibility. People often go back and forth between stages, having more clarity one day and less another.

Read more about mapping out a future when a loved one is diagnosed with Alzheimer's:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

Related articles

How Much Do People With Alzheimer's Understand?

Alzheimer's Disease Doesn't Only Affect Aged

Humor Essential Therapy Even With Alzheimer's

People with Alzheimer's and Their Caregivers Fight back

Unexpected Fees In Assisted Living: Understand the Contract

Assisted living facilities provide a safe environment with convenient meals and social opportunities in their base package. They are generally set up so that an elder can obtain help if he or she falls or has another emergency. Many also offer transportation by bus or other means for group outings or to specific locations.

But what about the basics of personal care? Many assisted living facilities don't provide in the "base" package, help with dressing, bathing, keeping track of prescription refills, setting up daily doses, injecting medications such as insulin, and a companion for trips to doctor appointments. So make sure you understand what services they do and don't offer per the contract, and what services may be available, but would cost extra. You might get some services you are expecting, but not all.

Read more about assisted living, terms and costs:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

Related articles

Rebuilding Life After Your Care Receiver Dies