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Caring for Parents Who Were Abusive to During Your Childhood

AloneDear Carol: Both of my parents were abusive alcohol and drug addicts. My mother died years ago. My dad and I have reconciled to some degree after he got help for his alcoholism and drug use. I believe I’ve forgiven him, and am trying to help him during what are probably his last years, but I still have flashbacks.  I get angry when he becomes difficult, though since he’s had two strokes I should be able to understand his frustration. In the past, I sought counseling, but my counselor doesn’t understand how hard it is to take care of aging parents. Can you help me map out how I can take care of dad’s needs without risking my own mental health? TM

Read more on Inforum about adult children who were abused taking care of parents:

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Global Alzheimer’s Study Now Enrolling


Does Treating Aging as a Disease Improve Our Future? Watch "The Age of Aging" to Learn What Experts Think

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 By treating aging as a disease are we just prolonging the inevitable or can we change the course of our lives? This question will be discussed at length on "Breakthrough: The Age of Aging" premiering Sunday, November 29, at 9 pm ET on National Geographic Channel.

My opinion? Aging is a process and it’s not all bad. We gain hindsight and wisdom. We gain experience from our successes as well as our mistakes.  The wisest among us gain perspective about what really matters as we each navigate our personal path through life.

For me, the question is more about how we live and how we die than it is whether or not aging should be treated as a disease that needs to be cured. 

If we take care of our body, our mind, and our spirit, we have a better chance of enjoying good health as we age. Will we have annoying issues that accompany aging? Most likely we will. However, many of us can mitigate some of the negative symptoms of aging if we consume a fairly healthy diet, exercise moderately and challenge our brains.

I believe that by maintaining a positive outlook on life, which is often enhanced by making some type of spiritual connection habitual, we can limit stress. Stress has proven to be destructive to our body and our mind, so by limiting stress we stand a better chance of staying reasonably healthy. Maintaining relationships that we enjoy and eliminating those that are toxic to our wellbeing may also improve our chances of living well as we age. 

Rather than thinking of aging as a disease, or just accepting that there’s nothing we can do to improve negative symptoms of aging, I'd rather think of aging as something that we can do with grace. Therefore, in this way, yes I think we can change the course of our lives to some degree.

I believe that by accepting aging as part of the circle of life and respecting the process, we can age graciously. Then, if we're fortunate, when our time comes we can also experience a dignified death. To me, this means knowing when to quit treating any disease - including aging if, indeed aging is a disease - and moving on to whatever exists beyond the physical.

For breakthrough information, as well as opinions from people who’ve intensely studied this issue, tune in to "Breakthrough: The Age of Aging" premiering Sunday, November 29, at 9 pm ET on National Geographic Channel.

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“I hold onto your book as a life preserver and am reading it slowly on purpose...I don't want it to end.”  Craig William Dayton, Film Composer


PBS Special: "Caring for Mom & Dad" Narrated by Meryl Streep

"Caring for Mom & Dad" Spotlights the Gripping and Emotional Challenges of Caring for an Aging Population.
Narrated by Meryl Streep, this hour-long documentary from PBS shares an intimate view of adults caring for their aging parents. Watch for it Thursday, May 7 on PBS (check local listings).

2 MINUTE TRAILER: http://PBS.org/caringformomanddad

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

“I hold onto your book as a life preserver and am reading it slowly on purpose...I don't want it to end.”  Craig William Dayton, Film Composer


"Still Alice" Should Help Public Understand Devastation of Alzheimer's

Not all that long ago, when someone's grandma started acting a little “strange” she was considered senile. This deterioration of the brain was considered normal aging, even by many doctors. As Grandma's behavior got worse, she would often be hidden away from public view to avoid embarrassing the family.

Read more on HealthCentral about effect of "Still Alice" on society as a whole:

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Sleepless in America: National Geographic Special Examines Relationship between Sleep and Alzheimer's

This Sunday, November 30th at 8 p.m. ET Sleepless in America will air on the National Geographic channel. Watch this clip where experts from leading health organizations such as NIH discuss the new research findings connecting lack of sleep to an increased risk in Alzheimer's disease due to the brain not receiving enough crucial sleep time to flush out the toxic chemicals.

 

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

“I hold onto your book as a life preserver and am reading it slowly on purpose...I don't want it to end.”  Craig William Dayton, Film Composer

 


What Complications of Alzheimer’s Cause Death?

Regardless of awareness months and educational outreach promotions the fact that Alzheimer's disease is a terminal condition seems to be a difficult concept for the public to grasp. The recent death of Tom Magliozzi, Co-Host of NPR's popular “Car Talk” has made headlines. Sadly, Magliozzi’s death from the complications of Alzheimer’s is a famous example of a common occurrence.

Read more on HealthCentral about what causes death with people who have Alzheimer's:

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

“I hold onto your book as a life preserver and am reading it slowly on purpose...I don't want it to end.”  Craig William Dayton, Film Composer 


Living with Alzheimer’s: PBS Documentary, Glen Campbell Tour

When a loved one receives an Alzheimer’s diagnosis the whole family is affected. For most, the first stage is utter devastation. Yet the human spirit can be incredibly resilient. After going through the grieving process, the person diagnosed with the disease and his or her loved ones most often come to accept their altered life as a new normal. 

Read more on HealthCentral about these riveting documentaries:

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Old movies, Old Music - Not Just About Nostalgia

Old movies via DVDs, as well as CDs of big band music or other favorites of our elders’ generation have long been used as a diversionary tactic. Now, Artists for Alzheimer’s (ARTZ) is spotlighting a new way that movies can be used to enhance the lives of people with Alzheimer’s disease. ARTZ is a nonprofit based in Woburn, Mass. that creates cultural opportunities for people with dementia and their caregivers.

Read more on HealthCentral about the arts and Alzheimer's:

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How Television News Affects Dementia and Alzheimer's Patients

Few people would argue that news - whether delivery is in the form of a newspaper, television or an Internet site, is generally led by catchy and often sensational headlines. Television, however, is the news-delivery system that has the most power to confuse elders with dementia, since the images an elder sees, often misinterpreted, can be stressful and painful. TV images, easily viewed out of context, make reality difficult to discern.

Read more on HealthCentral about how television can affect someone with dementia:

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Dramatic Documentary Reports On Challenges Faced In Oakland California Emergency Room

A revealing and stunning immersion documentary in the PBS series Independent Lens focuses on the ER waiting room at Oakland California’s Highland Hospital. This safety-net health care facility is the only place available for the uninsured people who pour through the doors and wait hours, sometimes days to be seen, only to be bumped by an ambulance case that is considered even more urgent than their own needs.

Simply and appropriately titled The Waiting Room, the documentary follows dedicated professionals as they struggle to care for a relentless avalanche of suffering individuals. The film’s featured patients include:

Read more about "The Waiting Room"

 Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories –paperback or ebook