Loooong ago, when I was young, my grandmother, who was terribly crippled with Rheumatoid Arthritis, moved in with us. We built a house to make it the living situation comfortable for all. We were fortunate to be able to do this.
My brother and I were teenagers, and we had an "after-thought" two-year-old toddler sister. So, there were kind of four generations living in the home, together.
One thing that helped, that makes things very different now, is that my mother was at home. Also, I was a natural caregiver, so I took over Grandma and my little sister on many occasions, even when my parents went on trips. I'm sort of awed by it now, since the first time that happened I was just 14, but I didn't think a bit of it, at the time. I just did it.
My point is, though, that times were different. Now, most of the time, both husband and wife work outside of the home. That leaves the elder alone, or needing outsiders to come in to help. This can work, but there are many considerations.
I ran across, on townonline.com, Dan O'Leary's column on this subject. I thought I'd share his thoughts with you. It's titled, "When your elderly parent moves in."
"Question: My father was recently transferred to a long-term care facility after suffering a stroke, which left him with significant physical and cognitive impairments. My mother is too frail to remain living in their home alone. It’s a dilemma for our family. My first instinct is that I should bring her to live with my husband and me. I am an emotional wreck worrying about doing the right thing for everyone involved. Can you make any suggestions?Answer: Having your mother move in with you would be a major change. Be sure to take plenty of time to consider the affect this would have on your lifestyle before making any decisions. This alternative should be in everyone’s best interest — the move should not take place solely out of a sense of duty or responsibility."