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Mom Is Tired of Struggling and Wants to Die

Dear Carol: My beloved mother is 93 and has been right paralyzed for years from a stroke. She’s in a very good nursing home, the family is actively by her side as much as possible, and we try our best. She says she is tired and just wants to die. I feel completely helpless, when she says that, and just say, “Please, Mom, don’t.” How do we handle this? Virginia Dear Virginia: When my grandmother, who was my mother’s mother, was in her late 80s and very ill, she told Mom that she was tired of fighting. She was in pain from advanced cancer. She said she was ready to go. Read more →

Caregiver Stress Can Make Carers Feel Trapped: What to Do?

Human beings, especially loving human beings, seem to have a penchant for "beating themselves up" over imperfections. This isn't the place to go into all the various psychological issues that make us feel we need to do everything perfectly, but the most common and obvious issues generally stem from trying to please our parents by being very, very good, and not feeling as if we measure up. Read more →

Why Do Some People Find Excuses to Avoid Nursing Home Visits?

There is little that can cheer a nursing home resident more than a visit by a family member, or even a friend. Yet many good hearted people find excuse after excuse to avoid visiting a parent, grandparent or friend in a facility. Excuses vary with the people and family dynamics, but sometimes the reason is much deeper than the excuse. Read more →

When a Cure Is Not Possible We Sometimes Have to Settle for Contentment

Most caregivers would do nearly anything to cure their sick loved one. However, we know that we are not going to cure our father of Alzheimer's disease, nor our mother of Parkinson's disease. There are many illnesses that attack our elders that can't be cured. Aging in general is eventually fatal Read more →