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Dad needs assisted living care; Mom doesn’t want to move with him

Dear Carol: Dad has dementia and has declined rapidly during the last few years. I feel he should be in assisted living for care, but mom refuses to move with him. They are the same age, but Mom is as active as a 50-year-old and quite vain about it.  Recently, she told us that she hasn’t really loved Dad for a long time, and that she won’t move to assisted living with him. She did say she’d visit him, however. I know he’d be heartbroken if he had to move without her. Both parents have told us that their plans are their business. It seems that Mom’s being selfish, but I feel both of them are entitled to happiness. What do we do? Emily

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When our parents get to a certain age it is difficult. My dad recently passed away, mom has Alzheimer's and doesn't want to leave the house. It is so easy to also get stressed and overeat. Exercise helps me maintain.

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