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Anniversary of Loved One's Death Especially Hard During Holidays


Dear Carol: This January marks one year since my mother died. My dad adored her, as we all did, but he’s having a harder time adjusting than we kids, which I suppose is to be expected. Mom had cancer but her treatments proved to be ineffective so she eventually went on hospice care. With hospice helping, Mom was coherent during the holidays last year. We got through it though, and dad did admirably well, considering the circumstances. I think he kept up a front for Mom’s sake. Once she died, which was mid-month, he fell apart and had only marginally recovered before this year’s holidays approached. The family struggled through a low key Thanksgiving and Christmas, but with the New Year and mom’s death anniversary coming up, I’m afraid for Dad. Though he made an effort over Christmas for the grandchildren, he’s now become depressed and withdrawn. I know that suicide is an issue for older people. I don't think he's that bad, yet, but I’m scared. – FM 

Read full column on Inforum about death anniversaries marked by holidays:

Dear Readers: You may (or may not) find a survey on the Inforum website that needs answering before you can continue reading. You've likely noticed newspapers trying to find ways to make money online and this is one way. I don't like it any better than you do, but newspapers have to pay their staff so we can continue to receive information. These survey's (I just took one) are quite short and don't ask for ANY personal information. Please be a little patient since they won't ask every time. Thanks! Carol

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

The stories in this fine book showed us how others have gone through similar things with their families and that is somehow reassuring. There are some helpful suggestions but mostly there is the recognition that others went through the same thing. All we can do is our best. That is greatly reassuring during these difficult emotional times. If you are a caregiver, this is a must-read. - Delores Edwards


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