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Validating People with Dementia Helps to Improve Their Quality of Life

Dementia: When Your Loved One Thinks You Are Stealing

AccusingHave you been accused of stealing from a loved one? The first time it happens many caregivers find themselves choking back tears. They try a logical approach although they’ve long realized that logic is not effective when communicating with a person living with dementia. But to be accused of stealing your dad’s hearing aid? Your mom’s sweater? This is the parent for whom you gave up so much in order to provide care. Now they think you are stealing from them. How do you handle this all-too-common problem?

View the full slideshow on HealthCentral about what is happening when your loved one accuses you and how to cope:

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Hi Leslie,
I'm so sorry. Most of us have been shamed for what we've done. It's nearly unbelievable that this happens but it does - most often by people who have no idea just as you say.

I'm placing links to a couple of my articles below but feel free to use the search Minding Our Elders' Archive (on the left just below advertising contact information). Try different keywords. Another way to help find things is to use the Catagories/Archives link at the top. I've written literally thousands of articles but the keywords should help you find the pertinent ones on the blog.

My heart goes out to you. You are so isolated which makes it even worse. A good online support group may help. I used to moderate I no longer do but I check in now and then and the group still seems to be a good one. The Family Caregiver Alliance at has started one too, and that is an excellent site.

Below are a couple of article links to get you started.

New to this blog. Just wondering if you have advice for being shamed by people when you have been a 24/7 365 caregiver for a few years and the stress gets to you. I LOVE my Dad unconditionally and owe him everything. I live in an extremely rural area and don't have access to step in help for even a few hours. It's me or nothing. I just get so tired emotionally. Then I hear oh you will regret your time away or I would do this (future) in a heartbeat without complaints. They have NO idea! Sorry. Yes I'm tired.

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