Friendship May Mean Confronting a Friend about Possible Dementia
When the Caregiver Has a Chronic Condition

Can Caregivers Strip Dignity by Overdoing the Help?

DadHusbandCreditwenni-zhou-463350-unsplash (1)...The fact that Joe needed help was obvious. However, he was my first care receiver, other than my grandmother who lived with us when I was a teenager. That was different since with Grandma my parents were mostly in charge. Joe learned to depend on my daily visits for company and my help with doctors, groceries and some small chores. But I learned from Joe, that there is a line that we caregivers should not cross, and that line isn’t always clear.

Read the full article on HealthCentral and how caregivers can go over the line when offering help:

Photo credit Wenni Zhou: Unsplash

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Thank you, Don, for your kind words as well as for your additional insight. I hear so often from well-meaning family members who are terrified of an elder getting hurt in any way, to the point that the elder would have no life if he or she listened. The next step in this situation is that the aging parents don't tell their kids what's going on because they know that everything that they want to do will be considered "dangerous." As you say, person-centered care is what is needed and that type of care is geared toward the individuals involved. Person-centered care is focused on the wishes of the person who is the care recipient (as much as possible). This is true, as you say, even with cognitive decline. Choices are important until the end. Even if some choices must be limited there are still ways to provide choices. Thanks so much for reading and commenting. Carol

This is a lovely, very insightful article. Of course, you can never "care" too much, if you mean the loving feeling you have for your caregivee; but you can provide more care than is needed or helpful. It is often much easier and faster to just do it all yourself. But, PERSON-centered care means you also have to look at what the task at hand means to and does for the person involved and their sense of dignity, self-esteem, independence, and being able to contribute to others, including to the caregiver. Thus, the person's efforts, as well as their ideas, opinions, and preferences, need to be taken into consideration whenever possible. Sometimes you may have to help a bit or redo some action to have it done a little better but it is worth it in terms of the satisfaction it gives to the caregivee and to your care partnering. And, as my author friend Richard Morgan wrote, "No Act of Love is Ever Wasted."

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