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Daughter's Desire To Remain Employed Conflicts With Mom's Increasing Needs

GrandmotherCreditakshar-dave-573278-unsplashDear Carol: My mom’s lived with me for three years. I’m single and have a demanding job but I’ve made time for her medical appointments and to keep up with her needs. I love her and want to do my best, but I now find myself getting short-tempered with her, which I hate. The doctor suspects that she has vascular dementia which accounts for her forgetfulness. I've become afraid that she is not safe alone while I’m gone. I’m upset with myself over my own short-tempered behavior, but for many reasons, including concerns about my job, I no longer think that this is the best arrangement. Still, I don’t want her to go to a nursing home. Any suggestions? – VE

Read the full column on Inforum about daughter's struggle to work and care for mom at the same time:

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Photo credit Akshar Dave: Unsplash


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Wonderful idea, Mary Ann! Adult day centers are often liked as much by the elder for - as you mentioned - activities and socialization, as they are liked by the caregiver. You noted being able to work without worrying. That is a huge benefit. Thanks for commenting. Carol

I too am a sole caregiver of my mom who has Alzheimer's ,my father also had dementia,but has since passed. When mom and dad were home together I had in home caregivers. Which can be stressful until you find a good match . I would get lots of calls at work and sometimes had to leave, after dad passed I decide with mom I would send her to a day center. Which took awhile to find a good match, but no w that I have I find it a lot easier to be at work and at least I know she is busy during the day and we meet at home at the end of the day. At least while she is able I think it's good for her to be social

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