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Dad Living With Dementia Repeatedly Asks for His Deceased Wife


Photo credit Seth Hays

Dear Carol: My dad was the primary caregiver for my mom during the first years that she was sick with cancer, but during her last years he began to show signs of Alzheimer’s. When Mom died, Dad was devastated. He seemed to comprehend what happened and retain the memory and the grief. Now, though, he’s starting to ask for Mom. When this began we reminded him what happened but the result was horrible. His first reaction was grief but that quickly turned to anger at us for “trying to fool him.” Eventually, we convinced him that yes, Mom was gone, but we said she’d “wait for him.” That seemed to calm him and eventually, he got on with life. Two weeks later, though, we went through it again. We know this is the progression of the disease but what do we do? – SW

Read the full column on Inforum about the wisdom of telling someone living with dementia - again - that their spouse has died:

MedicareFAQ – Medicare Resource Center

Support a caregiver or jump-start discussion in support groups with real stories - for bulk orders of Minding Our Elders e-mail Carol  



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