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Daughter No Longer Agrees With Mom’s End-of-Life Wishes


Photo credit Todd Cravens

Dear Carol: My mom is 85 and has lived with COPD, diabetes, and heart disease for the last ten years, but she’s been a fighter. She’s always said that she didn’t want extreme measures to keep her alive when her time to go was obvious, and I agreed, but now that the end seems close I think that she should fight longer. She qualifies for hospice, but hospice means that she must stop the medications that are keeping her alive. Mom says that she’s fought long enough and she’s done with that. She just wants comfort for as long as she has left. It’s true that I hate the thought of losing my mom, but it’s unlike her to give up like this! She just isn’t like other examples that I read about. She’s tougher! What can I do to make her see that she needs to keep fighting? – BV

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I agree, Caroline. Thanks for commenting.

We need to be unselfish with our loved ones who are wearing out. It's their right to choose more "treatment" or not.

My Name also Carol :). when I visited a seminar by" Collen Cartwright" re- the "advanced Care directive", One particular advice in her sharing's was such an enlightenment in factual truth. what happens when the person who wishes to die or "give up" as is written here, IF this is not well documented for no family members to be involved in this dicision, then family members can intervene "against the" ahead dying person" As Colleen said -the family members emotional needs to hold on to their loved one -who's best interest is that? She askes- What is the best outcome for the one wishing to be "let go, as they wish/need to?" the one who needs an end in their personal timing. OR the one who is holding on to their loved one for their own needs.? LOVE is caring for other's needs more than an own. Especially our parents. :)

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