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Photo credit Manyerling Villalobos 

Dear Carol: My widowed father had been living alone in a house 500 miles away from me. The house was filthy, with mice and cockroaches overrunning the place. Dad’s always been a hoarder, but it had become risky for him to even move around. His cognitive decline was obvious in other ways, too, like getting caught up in two financial scams, so we took him to a doctor who diagnosed him as having mid-stage Alzheimer’s. Dad agreed to move closer to me so that he could live better, and I found a wonderful memory care home for him that is known for quality care. I settled him in, but when I turned to leave for the day, he went ballistic, shouting that I had betrayed him. I'm crushed. Dad’s doctor said that he had to be moved, the staff of the care home says that he's charming to them and he's making friends, but now he hates me. How can I convince him that I did what I did because I love him? – TG

Continue reading on Inforum to learn more about dealing with the anger of someone we love - when we've done what they needed:

Support a caregiver or jump-start discussion in support groups with real stories - for bulk orders of Minding Our Elders e-mail Carol  

 

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