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November 2019
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January 2020

No caregiver can be expected to anticipate every need or provide a perfect solution when there is none. No caregiver should put aside long-term needs like rest, relaxation, healthy food and socialization for the sake of another. Read more →


The number of elders for whom I provided primary family care was in excess of average, but the people who have cared for a combination of parents, in-laws, and often a spouse, are legion. Much of this caregiving happens in tandem, so that, for example, after one parent passes the other parent falls apart. Read more →


Dear YE: I can feel your frustration through your words. You just want to help your mom and having her move seems logical. Strangely though, we can all become somewhat comfortable with less than ideal situations... Read more →


If we were proactive, we’ve already discussed the choices for living arrangements our loved ones would have made for themselves under differing circumstances, however many people haven’t done this. Read more →


Dear Laughing Daughter: Caregiving can have many joys and rewards but let's be realistic – it can also be exhausting, difficult, and sometimes down right grim. My feeling is that any time we can find a reason to laugh at circumstances we probably should. Read more →


Depending on where Mom is in her mind on that particular day, the Christmas tree may bring back wonderful memories or it could bring back that childhood horror. The gathering of loving relatives may seem familiar Read more →


Is it really that important if the order for the fruit try got lost and you end up just grabbing a fresh pineapple? Will the world end if the intended recipient of the errant package opens a box that contains a bag of cookies and an IOU for the gift that will arrive late? Read more →


Dear Stunned: First, let me congratulate you on being such a fine granddaughter. Your compassion would be laudable at any age but from your note, I’m assuming that you are still quite young. Your grandmother was right. You’ve grown up beautifully. Read more →


...We accept our attitude as valid. We may wish circumstances were different than they are, but if our reality is that we feel blue or even depressed rather than cheerful, well that is how we feel. No need for guilt or explanations. Read more →