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Caregiver with Chronic Pain Must Be Clear About Limits

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Photo credit Kat-J

Dear Carol: My 80-year-old mother had a stroke two years ago and lives in a close-by nursing home. I’m happy to visit her and make sure that her needs are met, but that’s not enough for her. She says it’s my duty to take her to the mall and other places to shop. She’s a large woman and taking her out in this way means getting her in and out of the car as well as wrestling a wheelchair in and out of my car trunk. I have fibromyalgia and body-wide arthritis, but she’s never accepted my health challenges.  I’ve offered to take her for drives since the nursing home staff will help her in and out of the car, but I’ve explained that taking her shopping is too hard for me. This isn’t the only challenge that I face with her but it’s a big one. I’d like to make her happy but doing what she wants invites disabling flairs in both of my conditions. What is my duty? – LY

Continue reading on Inforum for more encouragement and advice about how to handle a mother who doesn't recognize daughter's chronic pain: 

Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook

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