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December 2019
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February 2020

Dear Sad and Bewildered: I'm so sorry that after all you’ve been doing your dad is still asking this painful question. It's enough to bring the strongest caregiver to tears. Yet, your dad can't help it, which you seem to understand. Read more →


There are at least three different types of Alzheimer's based on the brain regions affected by the pathology, meaning the plaques and tangles of the condition. Then, based on cognitive testing, there are as many as seven different types of Alzheimer’s present, perhaps even more. Depending on the type of Alzheimer's a person has, Read more →


He was struggling to breathe, yet pleaded with me to not insert the breathing tube and to let him die. The cardiologist was scared to do it. With a voice coming from above saying, “Let My People Go!” I honored the man’s wishes. I tremble every time I read this passage. Read more →


However, when this request for his "lost" college ring popped up, it evolved into a passion. It wasn't an idea he could be diverted from. I tried hard, as I knew we couldn't get him the graduation year he wanted... Read more →


We research. We try putting ourselves in their place. We do our best to be patient because we understand that they can’t help their having the disease. Still, we are human and we make mistakes. While we shouldn’t wallow... Read more →


Dear LY: You have my sympathy in your battle with both of these potentially disabling diseases. It’s sad that your mother can’t acknowledge your health challenges but that’s who she is and that’s not likely to change. This means that it’s up to you to enforce limits that protect your own health regardless of her attitude. Read more →


Barry J. Jacobs, PsyD, a clinical psychologist, family therapist and healthcare consultant was a caregiver first for his father who had cancer, and later for his mother as she declined from kidney disease and vascular dementia. Dr. Jacobs specializes in helping family caregivers, yet even he felt the need for objective advice. Read more →


“It can feel overwhelming to invest the time in building a caregiving team and the overhead can be high,” Kim says. “But by doing so I have been able to come up for air and focus on my marriage and my children in the midst of Mom’s disease. I’ve also been able to preserve my relationship with my brother Read more →


Dear Resentful Randi: I’m sorry that your siblings are being not only dense, but self-absorbed and selfish. It’s either that or they are in serious denial. Apparently, convincing themselves that your parents don’t really need much help and you are overreacting by being so attentive keeps away any guilt that they’d otherwise feel. Read more →


Most caregivers tend to leap into caregiving because the need is there. They don’t stop and think: “Oh, I must plan my journey for the next year — or 10.” Dad has a heart attack. You’re there. Mother-in-law breaks her hip. You’re there. Your husband develops cancer. Read more →