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January 2020
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March 2020

Dear RE: I’m sorry that you and your dad are having trouble communicating after his stroke. This is common, but that doesn’t make it easier. My uncle had similar problems, so I do have some understanding of how you’re feeling. Read more →


Dear Stinky's Daughter: How frustrating for you! Does it surprise you to know that this isn't an unusual situation, though? It’s sad that we tend to equate even intermittent issues of incontinence with being a baby when the reality is that many health changes can lead to various degrees of incontinence for adults. Read more →


Dear GD: I’m sorry about your tough situation. You consulted a specialist under the direction of your husband’s primary doctor and, rightly, expected a definitive answer. Unfortunately, the correct dementia diagnosis may take longer than expected. Read more →


It seems natural to ask your dad who is living with Alzheimer’s about events from his past. However, doing so directly can be a problem. Why? Because he may not remember the event, but the expectation that he should remember could make him anxious. Instead, Read more →


I was aware of Betsy’s background and asked her about how different spousal caregiving is from caring for a parent, and what this means for their future: Read more →


Dear Mom’s Keeper: You sound like a caring daughter with understandable concerns. If it’s any comfort, parents resisting help is a common problem faced by adult children. For some, the concern is about cognitive problems, which thankfully isn’t an issue here, but each requires a somewhat different approach. Read more →


Dear CL: Determining whether or not someone with advanced dementia is recognizing reality takes tact and often some investigation. When the person lives in a nursing home this can become even more challenging. Read more →


It’s human nature not to look carefully at people or things that we see often, so we shouldn’t be surprised when our parents’ aging comes as a shock. Your silly teenage business of anyone older than you being “old” resolved itself as you matured, so you know that isn’t the cause. This truly is wear and tear that you’re seeing on your parents and it’s scary. Read more →