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...My family was fortunate in that we knew the facility staff and could trust that they would do the right thing. I can only imagine your terror if your parents are newly placed in a facility where they haven’t yet been able to settle in, or perhaps worse if they are in a facility Read more →

But did someone actually steal Victoria's sweater, or is dementia stealing her mind? Victoria, the lady ranting about her sweater, was sitting in her wheelchair. I had offered to take her down to the nursing home's main dining room on my way to sit with my mother-in-law. I was familiar with Victoria, a resident at my mother-in-law's facility. Read more →

Dear Furious: Excuse me while I pry apart my clenched teeth and take a few deep breaths. There, that’s a little better. I think that in this case you might have done the right thing by simply protecting your dad’s dignity and leaving because this woman needs more than education: she needs a soul transplant. Read more →

We knew Dad was wearing down. He didn’t have long to live, but did he have to be in such discomfort? I wanted him under hospice care, but the doctor was adamant that he still wasn’t ready. Read more →

Care decisions are hard enough as it is, but how do you know when you’re enabling an elderly loved one to slide by the easy way as opposed to helping them out with something they truly need? The truth is, it’s rarely an easy call, and the answer may differ on any given day. Read more →

I set up a personal alarm system for Joe, and I was beyond grateful for that device. He would fall often due to his deafness, balance issues, and, of course, his alcohol consumption. When he fell, he’d activate his personal alarm, which would notify a dispatch center and they would call me to check on him. Read more →

As with so many things regarding our aging parents, you could consider how you are approaching your mom. You might think that you are doing so with compassion and gentleness, but it’s possible that your frustration is showing. If you want to double-check yourself, reading Read more →

Hard choices are the hallmark of the sandwich generation. My kids were not involved in sports, but they still had plenty of school functions, musical performances, awards ceremonies and parent-teacher conferences. Read more →

Dear HP: Your frustration is understandable. There many older people who would love to have your mother’s health and the ability to get around without pain, exhaustion, or other health problems getting in the way. Read more →

If you and your parents have frequent, casual conversations about options as they age, you’ll have an easier time with the transition than if you leave the topic until there’s a crisis. When you begin the talks, Read more →