Balancing Elder Care With Other Relationships
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Mom Should Compensate Longtime Friend for Shopping, Errands


Photo credit Mohammad Elgassier

Dear Carol: My mother is 83 and has been friends with a 65-year-old neighbor and fellow church member for many years. This neighbor is physically strong but not educated, while Mom has poor health but has a master’s level degree. Even with these differences, a friendship based on shared passions for knitting, birdwatching, and church activities has flourished. Several years ago, Mom had a knee replacement and this woman helped care for her afterward, even cleaning the house. Mom’s notoriously cheap, but since her friend lives on Social Security, I talked Mom into paying her for cleaning the house. Lately, her friend has been getting groceries and running other errands to keep Mom from being exposed to COVID-19. I feel that Mom should pay her more, but she says, “She likes to help.” Well, yes, but this is more than an occasional favor, and frankly, her friend’s running errands helps me too since I work full time. How can I get Mom to do the right thing? – CF

Continue reading on Inforum for more insight into this friendship between older women and how payment for services could be conducted:

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