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Dear Resentful Wife: My condolences about the tough patch you and your husband are going through. From reading your last sentence, I’ve gathered that you know that parental caregiving can present considerable challenges to many marriages. Still, that offers little comfort to you. Read more →


Dear GB: Several members of my family lived their last years in a nearby nursing home where we grew to know the staff well, so I’ve experienced this. Like so much of caregiving, we need to be creative enough to find a workable if imperfect solution. Read more →


Dear Worried: One of the vital things that we do as caregivers is helping our older adult family members take necessary medications as prescribed, and question prescriptions that could be unnecessary. Questioning doesn’t mean that we should be antagonistic toward a doctor but asking details about prescriptions is just common sense. Therefore, respectful inquiries should be welcomed by physicians. Read more →


Dear Stinky's Daughter: How frustrating for you! Does it surprise you to know that this isn't an unusual situation? It’s sad that we tend to equate even intermittent issues of incontinence with being a baby when the reality is that many health changes can lead to various degrees of incontinence for adults. Read more →


I’m not suggesting that we can’t have a time of self-pity, however wallowing in self-pity too long keeps us stuck in negativity. Read more →


Dear NM: I’m so very sorry about what’s happened to your husband, and to you by extension. You are grieving not only what happened to your husband’s health but your retirement dreams. Guilt is an unnecessary burden since you wouldn’t be human if you weren’t going through these normal feelings. Nine months may seem long, but it’s a relatively short time to adjust to your daily losses as well as your changed future. Read more →


Every year provided a different scenario, depending on the conditions of our various elders. We had to decide how to spend time with children and spouses, the elders above who could perhaps benefit from a holiday in our family home, and the elders that would do better in their own surroundings... Read more →


How do we beat this feeling of holiday blues so that we can get through the next few weeks? We accept our attitude as valid. We may wish circumstances were different than they are, but if our reality is that we feel blue or even depressed rather than cheerful, well that is how we feel. No need for guilt or explanations... Read more →


Dear OC: I’m sorry about your husband’s stroke. This was a life-altering event for your whole family which would have been a hard adjustment during normal times. With the necessary changes that COVID-19 has placed on interacting with others but particularly older and other vulnerable people, your life has changed even more dramatically. Read more →


The goal is to determine each other’s strengths and maximize them to create a care plan that divvies up responsibilities more evenly. Will everything work out equally? Not a chance. But the hope is that the primary caregiver will no longer be responsible for every little thing their parents need. You’ll want to... Read more →