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Placing Spouse In Care Facility Brings Both Guilt and Relief

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Photo credit Joe Hepburn

Dear Carol: My husband developed Parkinson’s disease years ago, but I was able to care for him at home. Once he began to experience hallucinations and other mental symptoms, he was diagnosed with dementia with Lewy bodies. By then, I knew these challenges, along with his physical decline, were more than I could handle long-term. Our kids had wanted me to place him in a care facility for years and I refused, but last month I did just that. Thankfully, my husband’s content with his care and I am, too. I spend a couple of hours with him each day and then return for supper most evenings. I’m also trying to do things to slowly restart my own life, but I still feel guilty about his placement. It doesn’t help that some of my friends who have never been in such a situation think that I should feel devastated by having to “give up.” I miss him terribly and placing him was awful, but after all these years I’m worn out. How do I stop feeling guilty that I also feel relieved? – AT

Continue reading on Inforum for more about the common mixed feelings after placing a parent or spouse in a care facility:

Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories. “I hold onto your book as a life preserver and am reading it slowly on purpose...I don't want it to end.” ...Craig William Dayton, Film Composer

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