How Hiring a Professional Handyman or Woman Can Help Your Elderly Parents
Elders Who Abuse Their Family Caregivers

Older Adult’s Decision to Decline Risky Surgery Questioned by Outsiders


Photo credit Anthony Metcalfe

Dear Carol: After being rushed to the emergency room, my 87-year-old mother was diagnosed with a major disease. She was stabilized and sent home with the information that without risky surgery her life is limited. They were frank enough to say that while Mom would probably make it through the surgery, she won’t regain her present quality of life, so they aren’t advising it. Mom’s doctor agrees so she has declined the surgery and is home with hospice care, which is in keeping with her long-term thinking. Though mourning her impending death, the family is at peace with her decision. What has me unsettled is the comments from people who feel that we should “make” her do everything possible to stay alive. One woman told me that Mom’s basically committing suicide. You’ve addressed this before but please say it again. People’s end-of-life wishes should be honored, right? – LW

Continue reading on Inforum to learn more about why this family is upset about criticism from people who shouldn't be involved in personal decisions:

Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories. “I hold onto your book as a life preserver and am reading it slowly on purpose...I don't want it to end.” ...Craig William Dayton, Film Composer

Request a free sample from

Egosan wants to help you live your life fully: Try Egosan premium underwear for discrete, dignified protection. For 20% off your first order use promo Code: 20CAREGIVERS.


Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

Verify your Comment

Previewing your Comment

This is only a preview. Your comment has not yet been posted.

Your comment could not be posted. Error type:
Your comment has been saved. Comments are moderated and will not appear until approved by the author. Post another comment

The letters and numbers you entered did not match the image. Please try again.

As a final step before posting your comment, enter the letters and numbers you see in the image below. This prevents automated programs from posting comments.

Having trouble reading this image? View an alternate.


Post a comment

Comments are moderated, and will not appear until the author has approved them.

Your Information

(Name and email address are required. Email address will not be displayed with the comment.)