Dear Carol: After seven years of living with early-onset Alzheimer’s, my 59-year-old husband passed away. Both before and during the early years of his diagnosis, I was also caring for his parents who both had dementia. I’ll be honest and say that it was never a happy marriage. He was controlling and jealous so my feelings of having no identity other than wife, mother, and caregiver are longstanding. I have a good relationship with my children, but they are grown and don’t live nearby so not even being a mom/grandma keeps me occupied. Our friends were mainly my husband’s friends, so who am I now? I don’t know. I work online and I’m happy enough with that, but the job doesn’t provide me with any personal interaction or identity. What do I say when people ask about my current interests? “I wish I knew” isn’t a good response. – SK
Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories. “I hold onto your book as a life preserver and am reading it slowly on purpose...I don't want it to end.” ...Craig William Dayton, Film Composer
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