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"I may not always understand the meaning of your words but I know what you are saying. I can read your jerky body language, the impatient tone of your voice, and your irritated facial expressions. Although you may tell me..." Read more →

Dear TE: Having been through a similar experience I can relate wholeheartedly to what you’ve experienced. My heart is with you. You’ve made a good point about grief not being a straight pathway, but I want to highlight this for readers. Most psychologists... Read more →

’s often true that the older we get, the more prescriptions we add to our medicine cabinets. And if you’re caring for a loved one who has trouble keeping track of these meds on their own, keeping them safe from the dangers of over-prescription can be bewildering. We asked for some guidance from geriatrician Leslie Kernisan, M.D... Read more →

Were my elders always thrilled about being in a nursing home? No. However, they did benefit in many ways, and frankly, there was no alternative choice. I'm simply grateful we had a fine facility so close by, one where I didn't have to fight to be part of the care team... Read more →

...You, along with most adult children, want to see your mother stay safe. Unfortunately, this logical and understandable viewpoint is running head-on into your mother’s also-understandable need to remain independent. So, what can you do? Read more →

I do understand. I can tell by reading your note that you are on top of things, so you understand that this tendency may get worse, and that’s scary. Just to show you that you’re not alone, I will share one of my experiences. I was waiting with my 85-year-old neighbor, Joe, to get some lab work done. A woman walked by who was overweight. Joe looked up, pointed, and screeched at full volume,... Read more →

...The Medicare site Nursing Home Compare is probably the logical first choice though, in my opinion, it should simply be one tool because, like all current tools, it is imperfect. Certain categories are self-rated by the nursing homes involved, which sets up questionable results. Also, since states vary in how they do inspections... Read more →

To address your question, while what I’ve always called “moments of clarity” don’t happen to everyone living with dementia, they aren’t all that unusual, either. I experienced several of these glorious moments with my dad who developed dementia after he had brain surgery. Dad didn’t have memory issues but he had reality issues, so our... Read more →

Dear ML: The fact that you’re concerned and want to help your mom stay in a happy frame of mind says a lot about you as a person. Unfortunately, your ability to keep her in that happy zone is limited. Her reality is that she gave up her own home with memories of your dad, as well as significant Read more →

...Still, we are human and we make mistakes. While we shouldn’t wallow in guilt when we do make mistakes as a care partner, there are situations that we should try extra hard to avoid. Here are nine of them. Read more →