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A Common Caregiver Confession: “I Secretly Wish My Ill Loved One Would Die”

CaregiverCreditsander-weeteling-499063-unsplashPhoto credit Sander Weeteling

New Caregivers Are Driven By Love and Hope: Most of these caregivers are decent folks who care deeply about their elderly parents, spouses, and other loved ones who require their assistance. As so many of us do, they have taken on the responsibility of caregiving out of love. Our help is needed, so we jump in without a thought. We have no idea that this role could last for years or even decades. It doesn’t occur to us that this decision could jeopardize our relationships, our careers, our health, or our finances, but that is the reality for most.

Many families are suddenly thrust into caregiving when a loved one experiences a medical setback or receives a serious diagnosis. Everyone goes into crisis mode. This person can no longer live alone safely, but nobody wants them to move to a long-term care facility—at least not yet. So, a family member steps up or is nominated to be the primary caregiver.

Everyone is on an adrenaline high while making these decisions, but eventually reality sets in. The primary caregiver, usually an adult child, is left alone as other family members go back to their lives. They are left to manage kids, possibly a marriage, a career, hands-on care, doctor’s appointments, medical bills and so much more with little or no help. Then there's long-term caregiving...

Continue reading on Agingcare for some comfort as you learn that your thoughts and emotions are not bad:

Support a caregiver or jump-start discussion in support groups with real stories - for bulk orders of Minding Our Elders e-mail Carol  

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