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Coping With Older Adults Who Need but Won’t Accept In-Home Caregivers

OlderCoupleCreditsiarhei-plashchynski-560887-unsplashPhoto credit Siarhei Plashchynski

Hiring in-home care for my elderly neighbor, Joe, was quite an ordeal. The company we chose and their professional caregivers were great, but the quality of care they provided wasn’t the issue. The problem was that Joe resented anyone but me helping him.  He locked one in-home care aide out of his home, let another inside but was rude to her, and thoroughly enjoyed one young man but only because they could discuss golf together. I’m not the first family caregiver to struggle with getting a senior to accept home care. Families hire these services to provide valuable respite time and quality care for seniors, but what is a caregiver to do when their loved one refuses to cooperate with this new addition to their care plan? 

Reasons Why a Senior Won’t Accept In-Home Caregivers: An in-home caregiver’s best efforts are often met with anger (or even abuse) dished out by the elder they are supposed to be helping. It is crucial for the family and hired caregiver(s) to determine the underlying reason for a senior’s lack of cooperation and find ways to remedy the situation. I believe that fear is the foundation of much of a senior’s reluctance and even disrespect for non-family caregivers. The presence of an outsider may suggest to them that their family can’t (or doesn’t want to) see to their needs. It also magnifies the extent of the elder’s care needs, making them feel especially vulnerable. This combination of concerns can create the perfect storm, especially...

Continue reading on Agingcare for more about older adults who won't accept the kind of help that they need:

Support a caregiver or jump-start discussion in support groups with real stories - for bulk orders of Minding Our Elders e-mail Carol  

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