Balancing Elder Care with Other Relationships
Caregiving Is Not a Competitive Sport: The Case for Supporting Caregiver's Unique Decisions

Does Your Sibling Worry More for Their Inheritance Than Mom and Dad’s Care?

Arguing_afif-kusuma-mv38TB_Ljj8-unsplash-smallPhoto credit Afif Kusuma

Some adult children work seamlessly together to find the best care solutions for their aging parents. However, some siblings don’t contribute at all, leaving the heavy lifting, sacrifices, and difficult choices up to one adult child, often a daughter. Still, others are involved sporadically, only deigning to give their opinions when pricey care decisions are on the line. In the latter scenario, these siblings disprove of respite, are suspicious of outside caregivers, and demand to keep their parents’ bills low. They don’t want to entertain the thought of hiring professional caregivers or moving Mom or Dad to assisted living or a nursing home because outside care is expensive. To make matters worse, they wholly oppose paying a fair wage to their siblings who have taken on the role of primary caregiver. When siblings begin emphasizing cost reduction strategies and encouraging the provision of unpaid care, primary caregivers usually reach an unfortunate realization: these family members are not interested in what is best for their parents or even what is fair to them as carers. The driving factor is preserving Mom and Dad’s wealth in the hopes of receiving an inheritance.,,

Continue reading on Agingcare for more insight into this common sibling issue that can come up during caregiving:

Support a caregiver or jump-start discussion in support groups with real stories - for bulk orders of Minding Our Elders e-mail Carol  

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