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Dear AL: My uncle developed aphasia after a string of strokes, so I understand how this breaks your heart. You want your dad to know it’s all right that he’s having trouble. You want to help. Mostly, you want him to stop blaming himself. These words from my book illustrate Read more →

...So, how do we start? The best way to begin is by examining your attitude toward and thoughts about yourself and your current situation. Lasting progress can’t be made by glossing over underlying issues and ignoring reality. We’ll start with a series Read more →

When people have dementia, much of the learned behavior toward food safety may be forgotten. They'll do what comes naturally. It may not have bothered you when your teenage son drank milk from the carton, but somehow seeing your mother do the same can be upsetting. Licking peanut butter off of a knife Read more →

...Then I read the client roster. It showed that some female veterans and/or wives of veterans also live there, so while the abundance of mostly World War II-era veterans were men, women were also part of the home's population. Read more →

By the time we reach middle age, our mother or mother figure may begin showing signs of needing assistance. This shift in the relationship dynamic can be confusing for even the most tenderly raised adult child. For those who were neglected or abused Read more →

...The passage of time lends valuable perspective to life’s events, but we don’t always use this gift in the most constructive ways. Instead, we look back and beat ourselves up for slips (whether real or imagined) despite knowing Read more →

Dr. Jacobs sat in my chair a couple of months ago to answer our readers who wondered how to plan for caregiving. He's such a valuable resource that I wanted to share this again... Read more →

Dear BC: One word. Go. You’ve more than earned this time away. That said, I understand your feelings. During a time when I had several older adults dependent to various degrees on my care, I had an opportunity to visit a close friend Read more →

...The bottom line is that this responsibility makes it nearly impossible to have a social life, and outsiders—even those closest to us—typically have a hard time understanding this fact. Eventually, friends stop extending invitations and shrugging off plans that are canceled at the last minute. However, working together Read more →

...As with nearly everything that has to do with caregiving, there is no guarantee that you, as a friend, will always do the right thing. Don’t feel guilty if you’ve neglected your friend Read more →