Dear Carol: After years of caring for his wife who has advanced dementia, my lifelong friend reached his limit and killed himself. He had the financial resources to place her in a care home, yet when I suggested this, he said that he couldn’t live with the guilt. Had he viewed outside help differently, he could have returned to his role as a loving husband rather than a stress-out caregiver. Now, his wife has been moved to such a care facility without him to support her transition, and his friends and family are heartbroken. Keep doing what you’re doing by telling caregivers that practicing their own self-care is also the best choice for all involved. My friend’s determination to give his wife what he considered the best care cost both of them everything. From my perspective, I thought I was doing everything that I could to support him. Now, I’m doubting myself as a friend, and it’s devasting. – SP
Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories. “I hold onto your book as a life preserver and am reading it slowly on purpose...I don't want it to end.” ...Craig William Dayton, Film Composer
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