I’m a strong believer in families being realistic. Your parents should have a Power of Attorney for health care with a health directive or living will. This is the document where people assign someone else to make decisions for them should they become unable to do so. Read more →

Thank you, Dad, for being my dad. You were, to me, the best father possible. If I ever failed to treat you with the respect you deserved, please forgive me. I tried my imperfect best to let you know that I’ve always respected you. Happy Father’s Day, Dad. I will forever be proud to be your daughter. Read more →

Then there's the other side. Many seniors are living in the same home they raised their children in. These homes are modest, but worked well for raising their family and even for the early empty nest years. Often, however, they are two-story cottages, with the bedrooms Read more →

Judy’s situation is an example of what many of us face. She’s likely right that her mom would be safer if she had someone checking on her regularly. Also, depending on her mom’s personality, Judy’s mom might be happier with the easy availability of companionship that assisted living offers. Why the resistance? Read more →

“Pharmacologic agents including oral estrogens, alpha-blockers, sedative-hypnotics, antidepressants, antipsychotics, ACE inhibitors, loop diuretics, nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs, and calcium channel blockers have been implicated to some degree in the onset or exacerbation of urinary incontinence.” Read more →

Dear GT: This is a challenging spot for an older person to be in but choices like this might be even tougher for adult children to come to terms with. The fact is, while you and your siblings want the best for your dad, what “best” means for your dad is up to him. Read more →

Dear Stinky's Daughter: How frustrating for you! Does it surprise you to know that this isn't an unusual situation? It’s sad that we tend to equate even intermittent issues of incontinence with being a baby when the reality is that many health changes can lead to various degrees of incontinence for adults. Read more →

Dear LM: My heart goes out to you. Losing your mom when you were so young and your resulting extra closeness with your dad has to make this very tough news for you to bear. For several decades, most likely starting with the successes brought on by antibiotics and other advances in modern medicine, the general attitude of the medical community was that no matter what, all illnesses must be fought. Read more →

Dear Scared: This must be not only distressing for you but as your signature tells us, scary. I’m so sorry that you’re going through such a hard time. Your Dad's behavior change could stem from any number of things, but they will all need medical intervention Read more →

Dear KF: Your wife’s diagnosis came at such a young age that the surprise alone had to be incomprehensible. I’m so sorry that you two must face this, and you are not wrong to feel that your lives took a terrible turn. One of the confusing things about dementia is that it’s different for nearly everyone. Some people progress quickly, then plateau and live quite well, albeit with assistance. Read more →