Judy’s situation is an example of what many of us face. She’s likely right that her mom would be safer if she had someone checking on her regularly. Also, depending on her mom’s personality, Judy’s mom might be happier with the easy availability of companionship that assisted living offers. Why the resistance? Read more →

In the past, piling up medications seemed to be nearly automatic because physicians are pushed for time, so they reached for the prescription pad when a new ailment is reported. As the years or even decades went by, the prescriptions keep getting filled without much thought. Read more →

Dear PN: You are smart to consider these questions now since there’s time to create a plan with your parents’ input. Most people are limited caregivers long before they even consider this question and this is true in your case. From your note, I gather... Read more →

You sound like a caring daughter with understandable concerns. If it’s any comfort, parents resisting help is a common problem faced by adult children. For some, the concern is about cognitive problems, which thankfully isn’t Read more →

While your loved one’s overwhelmingly negative attitude is certainly frustrating, it’s important to understand that a person’s real and perceived levels of independence and control over their life are forever changed when they begin needing a caregiver’s help. Read more →

Dear Erased: I’m deeply sorry! Having your parent forget your name is said by many caregivers to be one of the most painful parts of being a care partner to their parent who is living with dementia. Yet, it’s one of the cruel, nearly predictable realities of some types of dementia, particularly Alzheimer’s. Read more →

Dear Fearing: You truly have your hands full. Preventing burnout is the right approach because like so many things, backing off once you are completely immersed in them presents even more problems. I hope that you can put a plan in place that will work for the long haul. Here are some strategies that might help: Read more →

As with so many things regarding our aging parents, you could consider how you are approaching your mom. You might think that you are doing so with compassion and gentleness, but it’s possible that your frustration is showing. Read more →

...Ask yourself if they are having problems in other areas, such as remembering to pay their bills or step-by-step work such as following a recipe. This might provide you with more insight. Read more →

Dear Stinky's Daughter: How frustrating for you! Does it surprise you to know that this isn't an unusual situation? It’s sad that we tend to equate even intermittent issues of incontinence with being a baby when the reality is that many health changes can lead to various degrees of incontinence for adults. Read more →