Dear Gloomy Suz: I’m sorry for what’s happened to your parents and for your own understandable struggle. Two parents who need care at the same time is difficult, and your mom’s poor prognosis must color each day that you have together. Nearly anyone in your situation would be struggling to stay positive, but I can suggest some tools that might help. Read more →

Dear Mom’s Keeper: You sound like a caring daughter with understandable concerns. If it’s any comfort, parents resisting help is a common problem faced by adult children. For some, the concern is about cognitive problems, which thankfully isn’t an issue here, but each requires a somewhat different approach. Read more →

"Incontinence affects millions of Americans and is very closely linked to diet, since what someone eats and drinks directly affects their bladder. With that said, people may think drinking less water will help them avoid incontinence, but it may actually increase Read more →

Dear GY: It’s natural that this is affecting your mental health. You’ve been listening to your mother’s complaints for years and it’s even worse now with the isolation factor of COVID-19. Why wouldn’t it wear you down? Read more →

As with so many things regarding our aging parents, you could consider how you are approaching your mom. You might think that you are doing so with compassion and gentleness, but it’s possible that your frustration is showing. If you want to double-check yourself, reading How To Communicate With Your Older Parents So They Hear You could prove helpful. Read more →

We were fortunate in that we knew and trusted the staff. I can only imagine how hard this must be for anyone who has been newly admitted to a facility. Now, because of technology, there are a few more options. Read more →

Dear Fearing: You truly have your hands full. Preventing burnout is the right approach because like so many things, backing off once you are completely immersed in them presents even more problems. I hope that you can put a plan in place that will work for the long haul. Read more →

Regardless of who moves in with whom, the decision to cohabitate with aging parents is a serious one that affects all relationships within a family, careers, finances, and the physical and mental health of everyone involved. For some, the arrangement works out fine. Two or even three generations residing... Read more →

Dear Scared: This must be not only distressing for you but as your signature tells us, scary. I’m so sorry that you’re going through such a hard time. Your Dad's behavior change could stem from any number of things, but they will all need medical intervention, so you’ll likely want to set up an appointment – by video if that’s necessary – with his doctor. Read more →

Dear Mom's Helper: Dementia of any kind makes nearly every aspect of self-care and caregiving by others much harder to manage. I feel for your mother and for you. She's lucky to have you in her corner.Some of these devices that collect urine can be helpful, as seems to be the case with your dad, but yes... Read more →