...The hospice staff kindly but firmly rejected my plan. Their chaplain handled informing Mom of the change to Dad’s care plan, and she was included in the services they offered. Of course, they were right to do this. It was painful for everyone involved, but these wonderful people walked us through each step. Read more →

...However, if you have the courage to stay in the valley and hold your attention in this descent, then you will say good bye to that which you were, before the trauma of loss, and go forward into the unknown half of yourself, that is unlived … the shadow. Read more →

I told her what has formed, over a period of time, my personal rule on this very common problem. The person with dementia probably deserves the dignity of being told, at least once... Read more →

However, if you have the courage to stay in the valley and hold your attention in this descent, then you will say good bye to that which you were, before the trauma of loss, and go forward into the unknown half of yourself, that is unlived … the shadow... Read more →

Dear HS: You have fun memories of holidays with your dad so you long for that time and probably remember them mostly unsullied by his drinking and abuse. To me, that’s entirely normal. Why wouldn’t you grieve... Read more →

“My husband Ron, a lifelong academic, was diagnosed at age 56 with younger onset Alzheimer's disease (also known as early onset Alzheimer’s disease or EOAD) while he was still teaching. We’d always combined our finances, and though we were not wealthy... Read more →

My next thought was of Mom, in the bed next to Dad’s in the nursing home who simply couldn’t bear to watch. She had been unable to fully participate in Dad’s last hours due to her heavy pain medication, and she needed me with her. A curtain blocked Dad’s body from where I sat with Mom. I tried... Read more →

Whether the need is regular home maintenance or some small remodeling job, in the past it was hard to get many companies to even come to your door. They're after the major remodel, or they clear snow only for entire apartment buildings. They don't want your elder's puny little upkeep jobs. However, the new entrepreneurs have seen gold in the little jobs... Read more →

Sometimes she would look at me and say, "Can't you just give me a little black pill?" I'd smile tearfully and say, "No, Mom. I can't. But I'll do everything I can to make sure you are as comfortable as possible"... Read more →

...Most of these caregivers are decent folks who care deeply about their elderly parents, spouses and other loved ones who require their assistance. As so many of us do, they have taken on the responsibility of caregiving out of love. Our help is needed, Read more →